Coming to terms with my mums sudden death.

Hi. I’m pretty new to this type of community thing. Only found out about this today when at my local GP and thought I’d give this a shot.

On January 9th 2019 me and my fiancee where speaking to my mum before she was going to bed. Now prior to this night she was “poorly” with “bronchitis” turns out this wasn’t the case from the autopsy. Died from a blood clot in her lung. Probably caused by her cardiomyopathy. And refusing pacemakers to help her heart. But we’ll never know.

As she was going to sleep. She collapsed on the stairs. Struggling to get up and couldn’t catch her breath. My fiancee and my dad then proceeded to help my mum up until she got worse. Losing consciousness and going limp. she Struggled talking to my dad and fiancee but only responded once I mentioned hospital. I made my dad ring the ambulance which they came pretty quickly. But an Air ambulance. road ambulance and a rapid response car later. I realized my mum wasn’t doing too good. Half hour of CPR and every drug they could administer. She passed away on my upstairs landing.

I got to see her sleeping body in her bed. Looking so peaceful. For the last time.

It was my first time seeing a deceased body. It was more heartbreaking knowing it’s your mum. I can remember sitting next to her. Trying to wake her up. While refusing to leave her side. I miss her so God dam much it hurts.

Thank you for reading my story.

Hi Lcrellin, just wanted to stop by and wish you a warm welcome to the forum. I am so sad reading your lovely Mum’s and your story. I found that telling my story was a good way of understanding why I feel the way I do and that it is ok, not to be ok or to act differently to our usual selves. It’s nearly five years since I lost my precious Mam and like you, I sat beside her and didn’t know how to let go…didn’t want to leave her all by herself. Mam’s are so very, very special and I feel your sorrow and pain.
It’s coming up to nearly 22 months since I lost my beautiful husband so like many others on here, I still take my life, day by day. You’ll find some comfort, caring advice and understanding here. There’s often lighter moments that bring an unexpected but most welcome smile. I hope you have found some support close by you, as well. Sending my kindest wishes, hope to hear from you again soon, x

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I am so sorry to hear what happened to your mum. I had a similar experience when my mum passed on January 2nd this year. Not as sudden as your mum but she too had bronchitis and was struggling to breathe. She was prescribed beta blockers on Christmas Eve as her heart was going to fast, she went to bed feeling unwell. On Christmas Day morning, we found her unconscious, she was taken to hospital where we were told she had suffered a severe stroke. From that day on, we were with her every day in hospital but after a week she got worse and we agreed to palliative care. Watching mum die was horrendous and like you such a shock when she did pass. I keep going but still finding it hard to accept she has gone. Most of the time I am ok but she is always on my mind and it is when I am on my own it is the hardest. I take each day as it comes and most days when I am busy I am fine. Stay strong x

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Thank you both for the lovely comments. Made me smile. Wasn’t easy telling my mums story. But I understand that I’m not on my own. When sometimes it feels like I am x

Hi, I also suddenly lost my mum this year in April. Her heart stopped which has also been put down to her cardiomyopathy even though she was given only a 1% chance of having a serious heart event from the cardiomyopathy. My mum was the glue that held our family together and always laughing and smiling. It is very hard to live without her and now as the shock has worn off somewhat I am just incredibly sad that she died with so much left to live for and see. I feel sad when I think of everything she will miss out on.
Was your mums cardiomyopathy high risk? You mention that she refused a pacemaker. Have you been tested to see if you have it?

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I’ve had an ECG at 20. But was told my heart rate was beautiful and healthy. I need to go back at 25 for another one. I want to get my heart checked out fully. Scans and everything as my mum only found out she had it when she collapsed in my primary school playground with my older sister. Im not sure how serious it was as she never really spoke about it too much. I just knew she NEEDED a pacemaker

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I see. Me and my brother have to go back every 5 years. My mums death fell in the 5 year anniversary of us finding out that she had HCM when I’ve just been back the hospital was shocked about mums passing. Due to the super low risk they had her at they’re sending me for an mri to look at my heart properly as it will show things that the ecg and echocardiogram won’t. They’re also going Ronnie request that they test her DNA as I believe they can tell from that if somebody has HCM.
As your mum needed a pacemaker I would think she would be fairly high risk. I don’t know about you but in a small way I’m glad we found out that she had an illness as otherwise the shock of her passing would have been too much. At least in the early days before her post-mortem (which took a month) it felt like we had some answers to cling to.

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I totally agree. I was always asking why. How. And knowing it was a blood clot. Possibly caused my cardiomyopathy. Just means I’m more certain than ever to get answers for myself. I’m sorry for your loss x