Completely empty

Have any of you lovely people experienced this feeling of complete and utter emptiness.
My husbands funeral was yesterday and everything just flooded in and I was an emotional wreck. I shook and cried like it would never stop.
I only had 4 friends at the service as Mike didn’t want a fuss and my daughters have been very unkind, they didn’t attend and haven’t even rang to see if I am okay.
Today I feel totally empty like life has been drained from me and I don’t know what to do with myself.
The sudden realisation that I am alone in the world is dreadful. I’ve struggled to get everything in order myself and that has filled my days and now everything is just so quiet.
I miss my best friend so much it physically hurts and my heart goes out to all of you who are going through or have gone through this heartbreak

5 Likes

Hi Jen I can relate to the emptiness. I’m so sorry to to hear that your daughters haven’t been there for you. I can’t begin to imagine how your feeling. All your saying does make perfect sense, With you not long attending the service. Afterwards it brings it home as it where,

We are all here for you just reach out when you can and want to. Much :heart: love Mark

1 Like

@MarkC
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post Mark, a simple kind gesture goes a long way when you’re feeling so sad and lonely. I am sorry that you are also trying to cope with a loss, I have been reading posts and when grief hits you think you are the only one. However there are so many others all understanding the stages of grief and kind enough to reach out to offer a kind word.
I am very grateful to have found this community .

How sad that your daughters haven’t been in touch to see how you are. I hope that changes for you, you really need your family round you.
The emptiness is overwhelming especially after the funeral. I remember feeling very isolated and lonely even though I had my daughter and friends.
Nine months on it does feel a bit better I’m getting out more and meeting friends and trying my best to navigate this different life.
Take care and look after yourself xx

2 Likes

@Barbara61 thank you for replying to my post, I am once again unable to sleep so catching up reading posts, emails etc to try and pass some time. I am dreading the dark nights as it’s a daunting time being home alone at the moment but at least while it’s light I have some comfort.
I have come to realise who really cares at a time when one shouldn’t have to. I didn’t expect family to be there 24/7 but to remain completely absent is something I am thinking about a lot. Close friends have said maybe it’s because they don’t know how to cope but I think they are simply selfish.
I am pleased you have had people around you and finding your way now.
My best wishes Jen xx

Hi I completely understand too, what you’re going through, this emptiness with life now - my husband died at the end of May and honestly I feel I’m getting worse not better as time goes on - everything seems pointless now and I just can’t seem to shake the dark mood and trying to get through the days on my own.
I’m so sorry your daughters weren’t there for you at the funeral I can’t imagine how they wouldn’t want to support you to get through it ? Everyone on here I’m sure is going through similar feelings about our losses and understands what it’s like to be in this awful situation
Sending a hug x

2 Likes

Yes I’m not looking forward to the dark nights either. The light nights make such a difference. Mark died last September and I found the winter difficult. Have to try and keep busy and make sure you see people if you can xx

1 Like

It is so sad that your daughters have not been there for you. It is such an isolating feeling losing your husband but for your children to keep their distance must be doubly difficult. The pain and isolation can be debilitating and I’m sure there are now times when you feel that life seems pointless. I’m sure there are many of us here who empathise with you - the long nights and quiet weekends. I know I find myself on here most nights and rarely sleep until 2 in the morning.
Are your friends supportive? Do you manage to get out and about? I know it’s hard. I have to push myself and I have found I have lost my confidence. I too am not looking forward to the long winter nights so I’m thinking of getting a rescue cat later this year to keep me company.
Sending you a big hug and hoping you find some comfort in the future.

2 Likes

I totally agree. My Shaun’s funeral was yesterday.
A few friends showed up. It was a nice service. I cried cried cried dried but still tears were unstoppable. Now back home I feel the emptiness in the house, in me and in my life. The life has been drained out of me. No energy no life left in me.
But I know he wouldn’t like to see me like this.
Need to move forward and make him proud of me.

1 Like

Hi @Jan58 thank you for your kind words, we share sadness and comforting virtual hugs as we face life without our loved one. The dark nights are something we all dread but maybe we can all join forces to get through them.
Sending love … Jen x

1 Like

Dear @JJBee
Thank you for your lovely message. My daughters used the excuse not to be here because they have young children but I think a lot of it lies with the fact it has put worry into them about how fragile life is and they have tried to ignore it through fear.
I have some very good friends who have been amazing and they have supported as much as I let them.
I’ve not ventured out yet as I’ve been sorting all the things required to close accounts etc but I have had some reflection time in the garden.
I get what you say about confidence as I too feel very vulnerable right now and sleep is something that just doesn’t come easily. I lie awake until it gets light then dose off for a couple of hours.
Sending you lots of love & please message anytime I will always reply
Jen x

1 Like

Dear @Ayca. I am so sorry that you too are in this sad place and feeling both lost and drained.
I get what you say that you want to make Shaun proud of you and you will but we do need some time to find ourselves so please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve
Jen x

1 Like