Complexity of Feelings

I’ve recently lost my wife to cancer. Throughout the long lead-up to her death, I was grieving at the same time as trying to present a positive face to her, so by now I’ve been grieving for some considerable time, I feel devastated but at the same time I’m trying to untangle the complex feelings I’m experiencing. A/ Terrible sadness about the awful experience that she had, and what has finally happened to her despite my best efforts. Somehow it’s as if I feel I need to keep in touch with her, as if she still needs my help in some way. I will need to get over that. B/ I feel a huge sense of personal loss, my wonderful wife and friend has simply gone for ever. C/ I’m concerned about my future, part of my identity has disappeared. D/ I feel a need for a new someone to love, I can’t see myself going forward as a single person when I know how good love is.


Ed9 I totally understand we’re you are coming from that loss of identity is hell even something simple like a new next of kin and having to say I’m a widow it’s all sadness and is that the price we pay for love love is kind and generous I feel punished I didn’t realise that I don’t want to be on my own I want to be in a partnership I miss the emotional intimacy my dear husband died in January and I want me back the happy positive bossy plan maker thinking of you it’s so tough wishing you well


Ed you have just wrote down me and my last year with Mandy and how I feel EXACTLY right now .

I’m 100% feeling just this

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