Consumed with grief

I lost my younger brother on the 18th of May 2021, so not long ago. We only had 7 weeks with him after his diagnosis was terminal. I feel absolutely lost, I can’t stop breaking down, it seems to come over me in waves and it takes my breath. I still can’t believe he’s gone and to make matters worse my poor parents are in their 70’s and this has absolutely destroyed them. I can’t even begin to imagine how they are feeling after losing their ‘baby’, it is his birthday today and we had hoped and prayed he would make it but sadly he passed 6 days before so today has been unbelievably hard for us all. We have the funeral in 2 weeks and I don’t even know how we will cope with it.

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I am so sorry for your loss. You will all be in shock at the moment. I found that on the day of the funeral I felt a strange sense of calm that helped me get through. The day after was harder actually. Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs

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I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ll be feeling you have to be strong for your parents so that’s a heavy burden to carry.

All you can do is go with the grief, it does come in waves. Everything you’re feeling is normal.

As Jules4 said, you will most likely manage the funeral very well, the thought is terrible but on the day, you will probably feel that sense of calm and you will want to do the best for your brother.

There’s always someone here to listen if you need to talk.

Nicky x

Thank you both for your kind words, without reading other people’s stories I think I would go mad, I realise that so many others HAVE and ARE feeling what I feel and that its all too normal. It is one week to the day that my brother passed but it feels like one hour and time has stood still for a week I can’t even remember what I’ve done its a blur of tears, guilt and an overwhelming sadness like I’ve never experienced before.

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It will be a blur - the mind doesn’t function properly. One good piece of advise I was given was write any arrangements/ phonecalls down as you will forget them. I also recorded the Eulogy for my husband’s funeral so that it was personal but I didn’t put pressure on myself on the day. Just take each day breath by breath. Sending hugs

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It’s true, the funeral is the easy bit. Just enjoy having the support from your friends and family. It gets worse after that day. I don’t say that to scare you but to prepare you. But it gets better too. It’ll be ups and downs. For a while your brain will look after itself. Sometimes the enormity of what’s happened will break through and yes it’s awful but it doesn’t last for long. Just learn how to ride the waves. The pain won’t just go but I promise it won’t be constant pain. Enjoy the happy moments when they’re there and breathe through the bad. That’s all any of us can do.

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Recording the Eulogy… Epic idea!! I wish I would have thought of that! Very smart!