coping 3 months on

My mother died on 23rd April this year. At first i seemed to be coping better than I imagined… now nearly 3 months on… I am finding it harder. One minute fine then next crying and the circle revolves and my thinking is so jumbled… any advice welcome

Hi, my mum also passed away in April on the 18th, I feel for you. My experience was I was like a zombie for the first month, jumbled brain, not able to sleep or eat. Then I had a phase of feeling I was coping OK, but more recently waves of sadness and sorrow keep coming over me. It seems grief is different for everyone, I don’t think it gets better but it just gets different. I don’t have a particular way to handle it but I have come to accept it and that’s my best advice to you. Don’t be afraid to cry, it does actually help. X

My mum also died 3 months ago. Had two weeks of feeling somewhat ok but yesterday it hit me hard again. Now I’m feeling panicky and on the edge as well as very depressed. Like I just can’t join her soon enough. I’m so lost without her. She was and still is the love of my life

Thank you for your reply and sorry for your loss. It sounds like we are experiencing the same roller coaster of emotions, The jumbled thinking is not good today, so please excuse my short reply.x

Thank you for replying. I feel your pain and understand how you feel. One day at a time is all we can do.x

Hi. retrorose. Welcome. Jumbled thoughts so often occur. Why would they not? you have been through a life trauma. April is so short a time to be thinking about making a lot of progress.
You ask for advice and all I can say at the moment is one day at a time, and don’t bottle up emotions. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. It’s a process we are going through. It depends so much on your temperament and individual circumstances. Do you have any support? At first we do seem to be coping. That was my experience, then after all the paperwork was done and the funeral over and coming back to an empty house really hit me hard. ‘One minute fine then next crying’. Up and down and that’s how it goes. You are NOT going crazy neither are you abnormal in any way. Grief takes us all in different ways.
As GrandmaAnnie says, acceptance is very important. We can do nothing about our situation so accepting rather than fighting our emotions is so much better. Acceptance at first is not easy. ‘Why me’?, ‘Why them’? If we flog ourselves with unanswerable questions it just makes things worse.
Go easy on yourself. The time will come when everything looks a little bit better. Honest!! John.

Thank you.

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