Coping on Mother's Day

"Do it your way. If it feels right for you to ignore it, then do so. It doesn’t have to carry on being a special day for you; it might have been sufficient that you celebrated when she was alive.

For others, it might feel right to keep the day special, to remember their Mum and to mark it in some way. And again this is fine. And again, you can do it in your way: celebrate it, perhaps, by doing something you did regularly (go out for a meal, play a game of bingo or take a trip to the seaside) or use it as a more solemn day of remembrance by visiting a special place you had, taking flowers to the grave, attending a church service or just spending the day alone to reflect."

Christine Ellis, Head of Family Support at our Wheatfields Hospice, has shared her advice for those of you who may be struggling with Mother’s Day. You can find her full blog here: https://www.sueryder.org/blog/what-to-do-if-you-struggle-with-mothers-day

If you’re finding it difficult this weekend, this community is here to support you.

Take care everyone,
Eleanor

Hello Eleanor.
We always had the family here on mothers day, the three “kids” would pop in with their partners or spouse’s at some time during the day. Now that my darling Anne has passed I fear it will all be change. The youngest (29) daughter came in today for a few hours with her partner and we had a good old chat, the older Daughter (from Anne’s first marriage) is coming tomorrow but the eldest lad I don’t know as he has been struggling with the loss of his mum and I think he will struggle coming in without her here any more.

I lost my Mom 7 years in March. My sister & I always fussed over our Mom and made sure her Mother’s day was special. After her passing, my younger sister and I would continue to celebrate Mother’s Day every year in our Mom’s memory, and that helped get us through that painful day. Now my sister is gone too. I lost her to cancer (just like our Mom) this past May. My faith tells me they are safe, well and together, but I am left here alone . I have no children of my own, so I cannot even say I am a Mother. I miss them both so much. we were “the three girls.”

Hello Eleanor, and other posters, I wanted to add that I am thinking of all of those missing their Moms (Wives, Nanas, Sisters, Aunts…) today. I am especially thinking of the Mum’s out there grieving a child. You are, and will always be their Mum, nothing can ever change that. I know this day is hard for so many of us for so many different reasons. My heart goes out to you all, on a day that will be different now, for those of us left behind. The family dynamic has changed. Everyone take care, and as Eleanor says, “do what feels right for you.”

Hi Eleanor and all

Thanks for the link to the article. I needed that today. Thought I would just see it as " just another day" to get through but it has hit me harder than I expected.

I’m all out of things to say other than I miss my mum so much.

Take care everyone
Ann xx

I have found today particular difficult,it is the second Mother’s day without my Mum,and i have been heartbroken all day. But have just had to carry on with the usual chores that i have to get through on a Sunday,and looking after my 12 year old son,being a lone parent with no Brothers/Sisters,or little family hasn’t helped either,and no gift from my only Son,as he forgot as he is recovering from tonsillitis,and i have a throat infection myself. I have just felt so alienated from the day and left out. Life is not the same anymore without my Beautiful Mum,and has made my anxiety/depression worser at times. I just about drag myself through each day now,and sleep is like an escape.

Hi Lucy

I’m sorry you had such a miserable day. Recovering from being ill can’t have helped.

Well I for one am happy it is finally Monday! Maybe you could do something nice, just for you tonight. I bet your mum would agree. We’ve got to sort of mother ourselves now.

Just wanted to let you know there are other people out here who do unfortunately understand. Maybe you could plan something nice to do with your son when he’s better too. I get the feeling my mum would be telling me to pour all my energy into my son.

Take care
Ann xx

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