Coping with the guilt.

Hi all, Im new on here, I lost my beloved Dad in April. Wed got him through keeping safe from Covid, he was living at home with some care at 93, so doing well. But I hadnt seen him for 4 months due to trying to keep safe (both him and myself as I hadnt yet had the vaccines and live some distance away) I saw him for the first time in ages then he fell the next day and died the day after. I cant forgive myself for not going a bit earlier to see him but worse, I didnt stay with him in hospital whilst he died,my brother and I went home to get some rest at 4 in the morning and he died at 10am. Id always promised myself I would be with him until the end if possible, and now the guilt is just awful. I know you cant predict when someone is going to pass but I feel I let him down terribly, even though we think he was totally unconscious and not aware of us? I was just feeling ill with tiredness and grief and have health issues myself so needed to look after myself but now I keep getting flashbacks to the hospital and why didnt I stay?! Now I cannot change things,,,he always said I was his rock since our Mum passed 4 years ago. I dont know how to deal with this?

I think feeling guilty just shows how much you did care and loved him. You were trying to keep him safe. I too hardly saw my Dad in 2020 as we were all being so cautious. I had no idea that he would be diagnosed with cancer and die within 2 weeks early this year. I feel sad every day because of that lost time. Hopefully time will lessen the guilt but just remember the time you did have with him. He will have known he was loved.

Thank you. Im sorry you lost your Dad during these difficult times. I always felt that we would have more time as Dad was such a stoic and seemed to get through every new illness and out the other side. His fall was traumatic though and there was no way he could survive it. I still want to ring him and tell him what happened to him....how mad is that?! I do hope the guilt eases up as it torments me? I know its common in grief but that doesn`t make it any easier somehow.

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