,I lost my younger sister July last year suddenly, she was diagnosed with cancer and told she had years, they got it so wrong, she started to become ill and they kept treating her for infections, she got taken into hosp on the 2nd of July and died 3.17am 3rd July, the pain of losing her was horrendous, we fought for a postmortem to find the dr had got it so so wrong no wonder she was in so much pain now we are left with constant sadness and an emptiness. I had the police at the door on the 18th Aug this year to be told my Dad was dead, he was found on the bathroom floor, it took them 13 hrs to tell us and yet we had phoned then saying we couldn’t get hold of him and were worried, we were phoning all the hospitals in round his area with no look, anyway we were told he had been sick and it contained blood so we thought (my sister and I ) we were prepared when we went to clean and pack his flat, never been so wrong, it looked like a crime scene with the amount of blood, it looks like something had ruptured inside of him and he has puked it out of his mouth, and the puddle that was still wet where his head was on the rug, the police said he died peacefully, cant see how, he must of been so scared, the blood starts in his bedroom and finishes in the bathroom, my brain is in bits and the thoughts or trying to make sense aren’t really working, and I had to my dog to sleep July this year, I try to take comfort in hoping my Dad, my sister and my dog are all together but the trauma of how both have gone is controlling my life, I just want to cry and be angry and left alone and at the same time feel very alone and find it all so traumatic
Hello Lean - I lost my daughter in January. Her dad died the previous august and wasn’t found for three weeks. My whole family is traumatised and have had no useful help for my grandkids who lost their mum. It’s 6 months on now and still no help for any of us. My GP did her best but could only provide anti depressants, no counselling, no support. Not the GPS fault but they can’t provide services without money. Same with social services, who made a really good job of making matters worse through inefficiency, no compassion and no money. My GP understands I’m traumatised but has no resources to help. I’ve got by with the support of friends and using this website. You will get support here from others like me, who ‘get it’. You can say how you feel here and everyone understands. I send you a very big hug, I know it’s hard beyond words but try and take it one day or even one hour at a time. Be kind to yourself, you are grieving and traumatised and deserve love and support. It may not seem possible but in time you will find a way to learn to live again. I’m still in the early days but although I’m still overwhelmed I manage to get out of bed and keep myself reasonably busy. I’ve stopped crying endlessly and I can have times, if brief, when I can smile again. It’s a tough journey but I’m doing the best I can. All of us on here are on a journey we don’t want and didn’t deserve. You can get some comfort and understanding here and I hope you keep posting. We will be listening and we will help you as best we can, so you aren’t alone though it may feel like it. It’s early days for you and it’s all very raw. Things can get more manageable, honestly. Sending you all my best wishes for some peace for you and yours. Xxx