Counselling - will it help me?

Hi. This is my first post. I lost my mum suddenly 5 months ago. She died at home in her flat on her own, I found her collapsed in her hallway late at night. Dealing with paramedics, police and then coroners and as an only child, then dealing with clearing her flat, all the sad admin tasks and then funeral, plus continuing to work, I think has taken more of a toll on me than I thought. So I am now thinking I need to have a few bereavement counselling sessions to talk about everything and how I feel and how I can try and deal with my feelings. But being a man who finds it difficult to talk about such things I am conflicted to know if it will actually help me? I would like to know of any positive experiences of counselling to help me make a decision. Please help?

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Yeh i just started it with sue ryder - been waiting 4 months for it though … i been doing it for 3 sessions so far and think it is helping - clears the fog and helps to get stuff off your chest ! Its emotional though so be prepared ! xxx

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Hi, I’ve considered going for some counselling but I’m aware there seems to be a waiting list, however you try to access it. I completely underestimated the impact my Mum’s death would have on me. She died unexpectedly in January and it has been the hardest five months of my life. I use this forum quite often, reading the posts as it helps to normalise my experience. I realise that I am not alone and try to offer some perspective for others where I can. Perhaps writing down your feelings might be useful, pending access to counselling? I’m also not sure I’ll find it useful face to face with a counsellor, the emotional fallout would undoubtedly be painful and messy! Best wishes xx

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Just read your message and felt I should reach out.

First of all, the circumstance of your mother’s death has been traumatic for you as you found her and because you’re an only child, everything is down to you and this is really hard. Really hard.

I would try the counselling but give it a few sessions because I think it can take time to build a rapport with the therapist. I am now having counselling following my my mother’s passing last year.

I don’t know what your relationship was like wit her but I can honestly say that losing my mother has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me and having to go on with ‘normal life’ can seem an impossible task.

I really wish you well x

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Thank you for all your replies. Thanks @Deb5 I had not considered the waiting list aspect of counselling. @Rosiepink you are right to suggest writing things down, I have been thinking about starting to do this as I think that would be good for me. I will continue to read on this community and chip in if I feel I can share and help. All the best.

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Can you read " a grief companion " by sasha bstes … its really good and gives you lots of advice xxx

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@jamesw im so sorry for your loss and experience.

I would recommend counselling, i lost my Dad in October and ive really struggled to come to terms with everything, i was lucky that i was able to get 8 sessions through my work with mininal wait, it was telephone appointments and i found it a great help my therapist was great and she made me realise that im still in the early stages but also how to ride the waves of grief. I also journal, not all the time but mostly when i feel the need to talk to my Dad but also writing down my feelings has helped alot.

We are all here for each other as well. Hope it helps. Sending love :heart:

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Thank you @Deb5 for the suggestion, I will definitely read this.

Yeh do :slight_smile: she has written a few books on grief. Really worth reading them xxxx

I recently lost my mum. I’ve been borrowing books from the library about grief. They do help. And I find the reading just takes your mind off things (for a while). xx

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Don’t know if anyone else has read this book, but I’ve seen it online called

“Still Right Here: A True Story of Healing and Hope”

I think you can get it on Amazon.
Sounds good and I really want to get that to read.