Now back at work seeing couples hand in hand walking around. Along with everything else just wipes me out. Had to take several breaks today. Got good supportive colleagues which is handy as everyone else has now vanished
Hi Jay, seeing couples together is indeed very painful for those of us who are now alone. I am surrounded where I live by retired couples who have had a lovely lockdown together and can make plans for the future. I have no idea why that is denied to some of us. for someone like you who is even younger it’s impossible to understand. I just hope your colleagues are being supportive and sensitive and realise just how much courage it has taken to return to work.
I lost my Mum and I find seeing mother and daughters together when I walk around the shops equally, as painful. The lockdown has saved me from seeing it as much.
Hi, yes it still gets me when I see people holding hands, I don’t understand why it hurts more than other things. I try to say to myself to be happy for them. Pleased that your colleagues have support you, that’s really nice. Take care.
I’ve never had a tattoo or really like them but am thinking of having a nice holding hands tattoo on my left are. That’s the side we would hold hands. Will include her name.
Give it a some time and if you are sure then go ahead. I had thought about having one but never felt that my husband agreed. I thought and thought about it then I went and I am older/lots older than you and my feeling was if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have to put up with it for to long ! I did get told off by our son who said I should have told him because it was a form of identification. Give it some time is what I would recommend.
When I see couples I just think is it real? Can a family be daddy&mummy&kids? Happily after, is it possible? For some people yes…and then I say to myself she has got my Andy so why should I bother , get jealous. I was the lucky one who had this special guy last 10 years x
Understand exactly what your experiencing lost my Julie 7 months ago married 54 years not all blissful years but since retirement in 2015 more time to have walking holding hands. Now finding it very hard going to our old stopping ground lots of tears. Keep strong
Dear Jay and Allison,
So sorry for your loss. I am single but I know how hard it is after you have lost someone seeing people walking hand in hand. It can be heartbreaking after a loss such as yours. I mean you are happy for them and dont envy them their happiness its just that it makes you feel your loss much deeper, it kind of rubs your loss in. Its very hard. Glad you have some support I too have a couple of people at work who ask how I am from time to time but it is hard when you have very few people in your life. Have you got children or other family that may offer you some support? It is also much harder at this time to be proactive and keep the friends you have had because if you don’t sometimes they drift away. Please keep in contact with those who tried to support you in the beginning because some of them may still be ready to support you if you give them a chance they may just be waiting for you. Say something like i am sorry I haven’t heard from you in awhile and I am sorry I haven’t been in touch but things have been hard for me lately as I am not really up to small talk but I do really need a friend just now. Or if it is someone who was a good friend of your partners then get in touch and tell them sorry I haven’t been in touch but I know you’ll understand why and I understand that you are grieving to, I just wondered if you would like to share some memories with me as I feel it might help us both cope. Something like that and maybe then some of the people who have vanished will come back and some wont. The ones who dont aren’t worth bothering about but some will be glad to hear from you. Give them and yourself a chance. And know that there are always people on here thinking of you. I know its not the same as having a real life person but its a major lifeline for many on here I think and it really makes a difference.
What lovely words.
I totally get this. I feel this way when I now see daughters with their Dads. I lost mine in March. It’s just so cruel. No one can replace our parents. I feel your pain seriously. Please please be good to yourself.
I’m sorry that you lost your Dad. Thank you for your kind words. Be kind to yourself too.