Covid hit my house

Covid…hit my house November 5th this year.
Although I had 3 jabs I caught covid.spent a few days in bed.
The same time my husband got covid.
He had a tickly cough. But otherwise seemed fine.
On 12 th Nov Steve said I’m.not feeling well…very cold,couldn’t get warm.rang Dr who asked us to come to Dr car park for Steve to be seen.
He did some tests and suggested Steve go into hospital.
I took Steve in to hospital at 11.30.
By 2.30 hospital rang to say he’s very ill .
And now on covid ward.
I rang hospital 3 times a day.
Occasionally I could talk to him,but he was put onto an oxygen mask,so understanding him was hard.
He told me his wishes, that he did not want to go into intensive care,and only wanted to be treated on the ward.
I told him I respect his wishes,but don’t talk like that,has he will be ok…
Sunday I rang up the hospital, only to be told that Steve is unconscious and I should come in.
He passed away 12.25 early hours of 15th nov.
His death was heartbreaking.
Although he was on couscous. He was through in his arms and legs around… he wouldn’t let me hold his hand or touch him…to me it looked like he was panicking but Dr reassured me,it was the drugs doing it,and he didn’t know what he was doing.
I have this horrible memory and when I close my eyes that’s all I see.

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Hi Debbie

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband Steve, and that you are struggling with bad memories. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

If you think it would be helpful to you, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Rhi

I’m sorry for your loss and such a terrible experience I lost my husband in august and watched him die horrifically and for the first few months that’s all I could see and remember but five months on that has now faded somewhat and my memories of him before are coming back, it’s traumatic and hopefully you have family and friends to help you through, please be kind to yourself ask for help and do whatever gives you comfort, let the emotions guide you and know that you’re not alone we’re all on this dreadful journey with you, take care xx

Sincere Condolences Prayers & Thoughts​:pray:t5::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::innocent: