Crying all the time

I am really struggling, I lost my husband at the end of June aged 55 . I hate being alone in the house and will do anything eg driving around to no where but crying the whole time. I have got a lot of friends but they don’t live on the doorstep and I feel need to arrange to see them rather than just turn up. I am continually planning my week so I haven’t got to spend time at home but that gets exhausting. My friends don’t really understand as luckily none of them have experienced losing a husband/partner.
Today I have nothing planned and weekends are the worse. I have got ironing, cleaning etc but just no motivation to do it just sat here crying what shall I do

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Gentlewaves

I feel for you, I know partly how you feel, I lost my husband the end of June too, so very early days for us both, so please don’t expect too much from yourself too soon.

I say partly, because I find comfort from being in the house, it’s the home we made together,
Every room has something of him, be it a shelf he put up or a fond memory I have that happened in there, I can understand that this may not be comforting to some , but for me it is very comforting, he is very much a part of our home and I enjoy being at there.

I know it might be hard, but can you find anything at home that would help you feel more at ease being there, if not have you thought about redecorating, changing things around, making it feel more comforting for you.

I’m sorry I don’t have any more to help you, it’s an awful journey we are on, we all have to find our own way to cope as best we can, I hope you soon find a way, so that you don’t have to be driving around aimlessly.

Bless you hugs Chrissy3

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Hi Chrissy
I do have so much ch at home to remind me of him in every room. He designed the kitchen garden and made lots of stuff and decorated, so do get comfort from that but just feel so lonely in there as well. I suppose I am lonely and tearful wherever I am and just being out takes me away from reality. It is the most terrible thing we are going through all our plans, dreams shattered and I feel so so sad for him that he loved life and was looking forward to so much also the most kindest loyal man I ever met. :cry::cry::broken_heart::broken_heart:

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It’s true building a home together holds so many memories, it’s bittersweet a cherished moment of remembrance but also a reminder of what has been lost, I love just walking around the house talking to my husband who is no longer here about ‘do you remember when we …’ then the sadness but I feel safe at home in our little nest, I do go out but yearn to be back home, I hate that I’m making memories without him now but life is cruel and days pass, it’s already eleven weeks whoever thought I could live that long without him, I’m off to listen to Tom ‘if tomorrow starts without me’ which gives me a small comfort and hopefully I’ll get some sleep tonight, I hope you all find some comfort too hugs xx

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I can completely identify with you I do the same we built our home together every room he decorated tiled did everything but the wall close in on me and I just gave ti get out the house I walk drive or run Its not the home its the loneliness that drives me out the house I miss him every minute of every hour of every day Im so lonely the first few weeks didn’t seem so bad but its now 13 weeks since I lost him and the grief is getting worse some day i just sob mist of the day and I don’t want to live like this, its not living its a mere existence He was my world big hugs for you i know what yoyr going through x

14 weeks in for me, I don’t cry as much as I did (guilt), have been away on holiday with my daughter and granddaughters (guilt), I don’t sleep with the lamp on anymore (guilt), I have neglected his beloved garden (guilt), I can’t remember his voice (guilt), I can’t stand to look at photos too many memories (guilt), I sold his car as I dont drive (guilt), infact anything I do makes me feel guilty.

I like to think he would be pleased at how I am coping or at least trying, I drove to the woodland burial ground this evening to choose our plot and when I got out of the car I couldn’t stop crying at how ludicrous it was that I was doing this and how could this have happened to us then I looked around at the so many plots all just laid out I thought maybe I’m feeling sorry for myself but I don’t think so it’s for all the not knowing of what could have been, what should have been growing old together and I will never know and whatever am I supposed to do now !!! Still no answers hugs to everyone xx