Dad’s funeral was Wednesday just gone, it was so hard, the church was full, dad was a mechanic all his life and some of the guys turned up in overalls, which was a lovely touch. Don’t think I have ever cried so much in my whole life, I miss my dad so much. I went back to work Monday as I’m Self-employed, I work with vulnerable adults with learning difficulties, one in particular is very challenging and I’m not in the right head space to be able to deal with him, I don’t want to support him any more but don’t know how to tell his brother as he wants to walk away from him, I feel I’m not being allowed to grieve for my Dad as I’m expected to support him as it’s my job! I just want to hide under the duvet, to be left alone with my own thoughts, I miss my dad so much, I just want him back.
I feel your pain I know it is hard with work and maybe you have gone back to work too early. I must admit I had a few weeks off before I could deal with it. I just had so much on my mind like u say so much to organise and sort out. Maybe take a step back if you can as it’s a lot of pressure on you. I am having such a bad day today. Took my son football and the last time we played at this ground my dad came to watch him. He is only 8 my son and he remembered that grandad was there last time. I feel like my heart has been ripped out again.
How lovely that you had a lot of people at the funeral though. I always found that a comfort that a lot of people came to say goodbye we must remember we had the best dads and they would want us to be happy. Maybe not today but soon we can be happy again 
sending you hugs and positive vibes to keep going. You are doing great.
Thank you so much for your reply. I’m sorry for your loss. You are so right, our dad’s were the best. I feel for you son too, as I have an 8 year old grandson and we were all due to go on holiday the half term just gone, and he said to me, he was sad as he would never go on holiday with great grandad again, that broke my heart. I think you are right, I have gone back to work to early, but I struggle to get cover for my clients which makes me feel guilty. Life is just so hard.