Dads gone and i still dont know how to feel.

This is my first time posting and i have thought about what i should write 100 times… no words can describe loosong a parent and not everyone grieves the same. But i feel like i cant. I dont cry i dont talk about it and i physically dont feel a thing… im completely numb. I am a mum of 4 kids and i feel guilty and feel like an alien for not being able to think about it or even cry… its almost as if im breaking down a barrier that shouldnt be broken. I work at a pub/club and some nights i feel alone even though im in a room full of people. My husband has been through the same but with his mum and i still feel like i cant bring it up as i dont want it dragging up the past for him too as that would make me feel awful. Has anyone elses grief made them feel guilty?

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Hello @Laurenc2316, I wanted to say thank you for posting here - it is a big step to take to reach out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to reassure that the feelings of guilt you have are feelings many people who are grieving experience. Many people also experience the feelings of numbness that you describe. You are not alone with these feelings and I’m really glad you have shared them here.

It sounds like you’re worried that if you talk about your grief with your husband, it will stir up his own feelings of grief for his mum. I think many of our members have had the same worries with the loved ones in their lives, but your feelings are important too and you deserve support. Sometimes people do find it easier to talk to someone who isn’t close to us, so you might find these resources helpful:

Please do keep reaching out,

Seaneen