I lost my daughter in February of pancreatic cancer she wasconly 44, I couldnt accept she would die, so I carried on as if she would get better, kept telling her it would.
My son has always been very distant, and none of us seen him much, but when I told him about Jacqueline he stepped right up to help her in ever way, but she was angry with me for telling family and friends about her cancer, so she turned to her brother more for support shut her dad and I out lot, she kept saying she wasnt up for visitors, so family never got to see her, neither did her dad or I much, she kept text or calling to keep us informed of her treated, kept telling us she was fine taken day at time, but 5 days before she died, she came to our house for dinner and as soon as she arrived we could she was far from ok, we knew that we had been so stupid to have thought she would get better and for not pushing to be with her more instead of being angry for her shutting us out and letting her brother back into her life.
We were with her when she passed and everyday, i see her in that hospital bed struggling to breath then watch her take her last breath, our hearts are so broken 
we miss her everyday.
Friends and family tell us she maybe didnt shut us out in way we think, she did it so we didnt watch her suffer, but I cant accept that I just feel ive let her down so much and she’s gone and i cant tell her how sorry I am, or to change things for her last year
Hello @Carolwh22,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter which brings you here.
You say you are feeling broken-hearted. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
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Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.
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The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Our daughter died suddenly 6 months ago - she had various medical conditions/symptoms but none immediately connected with cause of death.
We will never know if she held back on how she really felt, and if we might have helped if we’d pushed her. We didn’t watch her suffer as you have which is so, so difficult but we also feel we need to learn to simply accept how things happened, and not feel guilty. Easier said than done.
Sending you hugs of support.