Dayna

I am heartbroken and do not know how to move on.

Hello Skywalker
I have been on this journey for a lot longer than you and can say there is no way that you can force ‘moving on’, don’t even try. You have to grieve, there is no quick fix. Your loss will be raw and the unbearable pain, frustration, fear and all the emotions that go with grieving but slowly you will begin to find your own way through your grief. We all have our own coping strategies.
On this site we all understand exactly what you are going through so when you are ready you might like to tell us more about yourself and chat to others who can offer you understanding. join in with the many conversations. It has proven a lifesaver for many of us at some time or other.
Above all please try to take care of yourself.

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Good morning. I knowwhat you mean about how to move on. I lost June 8 weeks ago and I don’t want to move on. Maybe one day but not today. I just do waht I really have to - the legal stuff etc - the rest, well, I do what i want to when I want to. I don’t want to get over this terrible event.
This site has certainly helped me - I’m not good at talking, but I am able to say things on here and the wonderful people will try and help/support. Maybe sometime I’ll be able to offer that support too.
Don’t worry about moving on. You’ll do that when you are able to and want to.

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Hi. Skywalker. What Pat says is so true. Forcing yourself, or trying to is self defeating. It takes as long as it takes. Everyone will do grief in their own way and own time. Please come back and tell us more about yourself. You are among friends who know and understand. Don’t be embarrassed or shy. Not one of us here will be critical or judge. Take care of yourself, it’s so easy to neglect ourselves at times like this. John.

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Thank you Pattidot,
I feel like my life is over. I will never feel joy or happiness again. My husband retired in November and we had so many plans. I spent most of my adult life with him and I am heartbroken. No one will ever love me again like he did and to think of living another 20 years without him is unbearable. All Indo is cry and try to figure out the finances. My emotions are all over the place. Anger, regret, sadness, sorrow. I wish I had died with him.

Thanks Dave, I too do not want to see anyone or talk to anyone. For two weeks I only told family and just hibernated. Once the obituary went out more people know now but I just can’t see anyone.

Thanks Johnathan, The pain is gut wrenching and all I do is cry. I cannot imagine feeling like this for years.

Skywalker. None of us can see into the future. All our hopes and dreams have been shattered and at the moment, it will seem impossible to put anything together again. You need to put yourself into ‘neutral’ at the moment. If you drive you will know what I mean. Day by day, even hour by hour.
Not wanting to see anyone or talk to anyone is a normal feeling in grief. We want to be alone with our own thoughts. But try not to cut yourself off entirely from support and help. You need both badly at this time and there are many kind and caring folk out there. Blessings. John.

Thank you Johnathan 123

Hello skywalker. Your first sentence is familiar to all of us - we all felt exactly that in the beginning.
As for “moving on” - that’s what people say who have never experienced anything such as we have. There is no “moving on”, only adapting to a new and frightening situation that we didn’t choose.

As others have said, there is no right or wrong way to deal with the situation, or to grieve,

You won’t believe that it can be different now, but it will get easier as time goes on. You will learn to cope with it, to adapt, to think about the future. And you have the support of caring people on this site.

Keep posting if it helps - it helped me.

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