Dealing with death as a single parent

3 years ago in February i lost someone very very special to me, this woman wasnt family but she treat me like a daughter and i saw her as a blessing as i got the love of a mother of 2 incredible women
I lost my loved one February 2017 i did not handle it well and started doing anything to numb the pain such as drugs and drinking. In November 2017 i found out i was 10 weeks pregnant with my First baby girl at this point i stopped the drugs and the drinking and the careless lifestyle and dedicated myself to my unborn child.
When my daughter was 9 months old i fell again with my 2nd born daughter and my childrens father walked out leaving me a single parent of 2…
Im struggling to cope with the grief, i know everyone says it get easier with time but every dau feels lime i lost her for the first time all over again the pain is never any less painful and its interfering with my abilities as a parent, as im weak and gutted to my absolute core im having to force myself out of bed every day for them but its so hard and im struggling with finding a way to cope without her and on my own with 2 children who depend on my emotional well being and i just feel like im a mess everyday, i feel so lost and so pained every moment im awake and its draining me and taking me away from my children mentally :sob:

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I’m so sorry to hear that you lost a loved one and that your children’s father has left you - you have been through such a lot in the last three years and it is understandable that you are struggling. People say that grief never fully leaves you, but, over time it usually becomes less intense and you become more able to live your life and move forward. One thing that can stop this from happening is when someone doesn’t have any outlets for their emotions, or doesn’t have the chance to grieve properly. It sounds as though it is possible this could be the case for you, maybe due to the pressures of being a single parent, or not having any support or anyone to talk to?

It is never too late to get support, and I’m really glad that you have found our Online Community, as writing things down here can be a good first step to getting them off your chest. All of the users on this site have lost someone and will understand some of what you are going through.

You might also be interested to read and reply to this thread by @frankie1, who is also coping with grief as a single parent, although in her case after losing her husband: WHEN WILL THE CRYING STOP?

You might also want to consider whether bereavement counselling would help you - many people find that talking to one-on-one to a trained person can help them work through their grief and feel in a better place. You could ask your GP to refer you to counselling and support services in your area.

I’m sorry to read that you feel your grief is interfering with your ability to be a good parent. It sounds as though you are doing your best but finding things really hard. I’m glad that you are looking for some support, as I’m sure it will be a benefit to both you and your daughters. There is also a really good organisation called Gingerbread that offers lots of support to single parents, including information resources, meet-up groups and an online forum where you can talk to other single parents.

Hello, love,
I am so sorry that you are going through an agony of grief, have you thought of going to see your GP, these GP’s are there to help us, in our need. Please consider it, if you have only just given birth then you will be more vunerable.
Take care.
Love and Blessings,
MaryL x

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