Almost three weeks ago my dad passed at age 46 from being shot (so it was very unexpected). This is my first time experiencing real grief and before this in general I have always been a very positive, easygoing, don’t like conflict, and a very even temper kind of person. But now everyday I am filled with complete rage and anger all day!! I feel mad at the world and so negative, with a very short temper:( I also feel hurt because I feel like my closest friends and family haven’t shown up for me the way that I wish they would so it pushes me further into a the only person you can trust is yourself and I’m completely alone etc etc mindset. If anyone can resonate with this please let me know, I feel like a new version of myself
Hello @almondcroissantxo,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Anger and rage is really normal when we’re grieving, and given how recent and unexpected your loss is, it’s completely understandable you’re feeling this way. I’m really sorry you’re not getting the support you need from your friends and family. You are not alone - many of our members will understand some of what you’re going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts. In the meantime, I wanted to share some resources which might be helpful right now.
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You can find local emotional support lines on the Befrienders Worldwide website
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You might also want to look at Victim Connect, who offer online chat, text and phone support to people affected by crime in the USA.
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Although anger is normal when we’re grieving, it sounds like your anger is bothering you and is making you feel more isolated. Mind have tips on coping with anger that you might find want to try.
Keep reaching out and take care 
I understand how you feel and I’m sorry for the way your dad passed. I lost my dad 6 months ago and I also feel like I used to be a positive person but now I just feel like there’s always a dark cloud following me since it feels like I’m going through an existential crisis now.
Although my dad passed at an older age, I’m 29 and feel some resentment that this happened to me at a young age. I imagine as your dad was 46, you’re younger as well.
Happy to connect with you. Wishing you the best during this hard time.