Hi. I am new here. My husband passed away on Tuesday just six weeks after diagnosis, the last four of which were spent in hospital. After the past week I felt I was starting to cope a little better but the fact that he is gone has just hit me again. Every one has been great but I now feel so alone and don’t feel I can call anyone. How do you deal with these overwhelming feelings of panic?
I feel the same has you. I lost my wife just over 4 months ago and I’m struggling to accept it. Not interested in Christmas this year. And you can call me anytime you want always here for people that’s going through the same situation. We all need someone to talk to . X
I just wanted to say that I lost my husband 2 years ago. To be honest those first few months were like a bad dream and I didn’t function at all and lasted most of the first year. The 2nd year reality hit that he wasn’t coming back. I have now entered the 3rd year. I will admit there are still times when the grief hits me. However I have built a new life and though my love for him has not diminished, I have found different friends and activities to build my life So I just wanted to reassure you that there is hope for the future, it’s just a different life but you will get through it. Take care
I hope your right. I will always love my wife and never ever forget her. It’s so hard coming to terms with it . X
Definitely and I still haven’t come to terms with it and think of him constantly. What helped me the most was finding a neighbour who had also lost her husband. She was the only one that could understand what I was going through and we could discuss it openly. This group had also been very beneficial, you just need to talk with someone who has been or going through it. Family and friends try to understand but I’m not sure they do.
I’m not sure they do. I am having bereavement counselling but if I’m honest I don’t think much of the councillor x
I have some problem with counselling as I understand their role is to listen and provide a safe place for you to talk about your bereavement. However, good they may be at this, unless they have been in our position they have absolutely no idea what it feels like.
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Hi Nala your absolutely right. I have counselling over the phone and all the councilor says is mmmm and mmmm don’t think there’s any interest. X
Since the death of my wife in October, what’s helped me most is a trio of widow neighbours who lost their husbands a few years ago and only really understand our suffering because they have been through this unique suffering themselves, without which, I would have no-one that really understands or cares
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I care and I understand.
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Oh I totally get where you’re coming from, one minute I think I’m ok, and I go to do something get lost for a bit then bang, here again. The dull ache, the fatigue, the tears…I promise myself every single day I won’t cry….i just keep trying.
Think all you can do is ride the waves out, don’t hold them in. X
Thing is I do cry every day I miss my dear wife so much. X
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It’s hard I’m having bereavement counselling but don’t think it’s doing any good
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I can’t imagine the heartache. I’ve cried 5 times today already, each time after promising I won’t cry again today. 
my brother was a happy sort, despite all his disabilities, even my son says that. Trying to seek some kind of comfort in that.
Missing someone isn’t easy, it’s utterly hard, and can be exhausting.
Try to keep going with your bereavement counciling though, and if it still doesn’t work out look for something else that will, be that painting, or something you’ve always brushed off as you’re not “into” that.
Keep giving things a try. X
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Thank you I will. My dear wife passed away just over 4 months ago. With stage 4 secondary breast cancer. But she was let down by the NHS but that’s another story. Just me and my little dog who keeps me going. But I’m still struggling to accept things . X
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Bri59
I understand how you feel. I lost my beloved husband Roger on 23 September 2024. I miss him every single day. I try to distract myself with activities as best I can. I am entirely alone. I have good friends but I struggle with coming into the house, knowing he isn’t there and at times I can’t go out of the house because I have lost my confidence. We did everything together and now I find I can’t go to the places we used to go together. People on this site understand what we are going through .
Kate
Thank you for your reply. I’m lonely. I’ve tried dating sites but there a load of rubbish. I’m not looking for a relationship. Just a female companion someone to take out for a meal and a chat nothing else I sincerely think it would help me give me some get up and go . A reason to get shaved but nice clothes on ect. I tried sorting some of my wife’s things out yesterday. Clothes. Shoes. Handbags ect. But got nowhere I couldn’t bring myself to throw anything away. Felt I was throwing my wife away sounds stupid I know. I hate these long lonely boring days and nights. X
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Bri59
I think many of us would like a companion again some time - someone to chat to and share things. No one can replace our loved ones I know. I still have my husbands clothes in his wardrobes. I am not ready to let go of them yet. I will pass them on when the time feels right,.
Take care
Thank you. And you too. X
Bri59 My wife Sue died three months ago with stage four secondary breast cancer. Like you, I struggle to process it, miss her so much it hurts, replay endlessly how she suffered, how she changed, how she was eaten alive but this insidious disease and howl at how unfair it all appears, and yet, would still give up so much for another insignificant hour just to touch her and talk to her. Spousal grief can be eased by talking about it with like minded people but there is no one now that even tries to remember what she was like, despite saying she wouldn’t be forgotten, not one tender anecdote, no fond reminder of her qualities. Did she ever exist? To me she’ll always be in my head until I hope we meet again. She’s reunited with her beloved parents. So tragic. Chin up!