Death grief denial

Hi my mother died due to sepsis after a kidney transplant seven years later.
Negligence from the hospital but i still grief that i let her down and sent her to her death. Almost scizophrenic at times.

Hello Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. Mums are special people, aren’t they? I used to think mine was invincible. It’s just seven years since my mum died and I remember feeling just like you do. You need to find some kind of understanding of what happened. My mum had lots wrong with her but we never expected her to die when she did. I went through all the causes on her death certificate, researched and pieced it altogether. It really helped.
After my husband died two and a half years ago, I needed some understanding once again. This time I went to PALS at the hospital (Patient advice & Liaison Service). They were marvelous in setting up a meeting for me to speak with a consultant. He went into detail to explain what had happened and how it could happen. My husband died of a sudden heart attack and brain damage. I really can’t stress enough how much this meeting helped me to understand and in doing so gave me a certain relief and a little comfort.
Once again Jessica, I am sorry you find yourself here. However, this forum can be of great help to you because we on here can understand your pain. I’m not sure that anything I have said will help you but know this, I/we are right by your side as we tread this grief journey together. Sending love to you at this difficult time. Xx

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Hi jessica. My mother had stage 4 kidney disease which seemed stable. We had been at hospital day before. A dr had seen her in the morning. I called a dr out at night as she had pains in her leg. She was flippant and dismissive only there for 2 minutes. Mum became unconscious and ambulance took forever to arrive. I am blaming myself and have been ‘going mad’ since it happened a week before xmas. I was her sole carer and now alone in her house with her things. I dread wakening up every time is torture. Hugs and peacex

Hi jessica
Just wondering how you are? Silly question but you know what i mean. Lovex