Death of husband

Losed my precious husband 11 weeks ago. Feel worse now than when it happened.Cry all the time.

I’m so sorry for your loss and I feel deeply for the pain you are going through. I cant help you feel better because I’m still grieving my own husband. Just do the best you can and hang in there. Thinking of you.

Dear Branno56,

I am so sorry for your loss, but it is so early days yet, 11 weeks is just the start of it. Do not expect miracles, you have to start to learn to get up every morning and do what needs doing, no more, no less and if you don’t want to do it, don’t

Don’t be pressured by people who have never experienced such a loss saying you will soon ‘get over it’ you won’t, this is it for the rest of your life. It is learning to live with it that get’s you through. Learning to accept that he has now gone and is not coming back and that will take months for you to accept before you can start to even think rationally.

I lost my husband four years ago at the end of this month and I still cry for him. I have learned to survive on my own, I have learned to do what I want to do and not do what people tell me I should be doing, who are they to tell me how I should be feeling, they have not gone through this nightmare so they can keep their noses out.

It took me 2.1/2 years to move his clothes out of his wardrobe as I wanted them to be there when he came home again as I didn’t want him to come home and have nothing to wear. Your mind is all over the place, you know he has died, but don’t believe it has happened, you see his photograph and cry, you hear your song and cry, this is not something that will ever go away. He was your soulmate, and you will never get over his death but you will learn to live with it.

I now live in the past most of the time, because that is where my life was, the future holds nothing for me and the present is another day to get through. I have sons but they have got over their dad not being here and are living their lives the way they want to and think that I have now accepted my new life, I haven’t, I hate my new life with a vengeance because it is no life without my husband.

If you have family, sister’s or brothers then you can lean on them because they knew what your life was like when you were young children and can remember you meeting your husband, you can talk about the past and what you used to do.

My family and my sister died many, many years ago, so I am all alone, apart from our sons who like I say, have their own lives to live and work away a lot so I don’t see them or speak to them very often.

I am so sorry, this is just the start of your grieving journey and like most of us on the forum, you learn to cope in your own way, just get up in the morning because that is the biggest thing you can do at the beginning of this nightmare and then take every day as it comes. Don’t be forced into joining clubs if you don’t want to because that is what everyone want’s you to do and I have realised that they want you to do these things because they have no idea what to do with you, they hate to see you so unhappy so they pressure you into doing things that you are nowhere near ready for.

We are all here if you need to talk.

Love

Sheila xx

Bless you and I wish I could take away your pain but nobody can. He was your husband and soulmate. It is early days and like Lonely says, just try and survive each day as best you can. You will find comfort from the most unexpected sources but they will be there and you will know who they are. Thinking of you.

Thank you for your reply. Had a bad day today but a little better now. Miss him so much. Thank you for caring and thinking of you all x

Hope you are doing ok. Hanging in, just!You take care also. Hugs.

I’m 9 months down the line but can remember how I felt at your stage. You do eventually stop feeling so wretched and manage to get through each day so hang on in there until you feel ready to cope, as you will and in your own time. I wish I could help you more.

Just replying is a help. Hanging in. JUST.

Had your dear husband been ill before he passed away.? My husband had heart problems for years but I always thought he would go on forever.

He had throat cancer3yrs ago, had his voice box removed. We were getting on ok but then Xmas time he wasn’t well. Went for check up and found he had terminal lung cancer which spread everywhere. Hardest part was it had gone to his brain so didn’t know me for last 2 weeks. He lasted 4mths.

I am so sad for you. My husband died 3 weeks ago and I am lost. During the day I try to manage but as this time of night comes around I feel wretched and put off going to bed as I hate that moment when I have to turn off the tv and the light .The silence overwhelms me and I end up crying.

I am so sad for you. My husband died 3 weeks ago and I am lost. During the day I try to manage but as this time of night comes around I feel wretched and put off going to bed as I hate that moment when I have to turn off the tv and the light .The silence overwhelms me and I end up crying.

Feel for you. Yours is very early. Don’t quite know what to say to you as I do exactly the same 10 weeks on. Let’s hope things get better. Hugs.

My heart goes out to you. My husband had a heart bypass aged 39 but struggled on following several heart attacks until aged 64 he finally passed away. Do you have close family who can help you through this difficult, no devastating time.? There’s always someone, perhaps who you don’t expect, who is there for you during these horrible times.

I have friends and 2 lovely grown children who live nearby. However there is no one there at this time of night, and if I am honest the only person I want to be with is gone

Sorry to hear about your husband. No age really. Mine was 69. Didn’t expect to be widow at 62. Family have been no help but neighbours have been great. Take care.x

I have 1 child. He is married but lives and works in California. He FaceTime me every night but not the same. They want me to go and live with them in USA but would not want to interfere in there lives. I feel near to him at home.

I can relate to that. I want my chiĺdren to get on with their lives, and even when with them I feel alone .I don’t want yo move because of the memories in the house…I don’t think anything can prepare you for the feeling of having your heart ripped out when a dearly loved partner dies.

It’s hard, no-one can imagine how hard until they lose their husband / partner. They were your hopes, dreams and future and now they’ve gone, along with your dreams. I thought the death of my mum was hard but nothing compares to this.The only advice I can offer is keep trying to do the best you can to make it better for you.

Hi I also lost my husband less than a month ago. He was ill with cancer but the signs were that we would have more time together. We were on our way back from our caravan on the Sunday .This is where he was at his happiest. He took ill.on the way home with a stroke .It’s a miracle we got home because the stroke had already started but he wouldnt stop the car. We turned into our estate .He managed to pull into our drive and things went downhill from there. But he always said wherever we were he would get me home safe. I called the ambulance then it was a & e then icu where he passed away on the Wednesday morning. I was by his side holding his hand for those 3 days. I am bereft without him. The only thing I keep telling myself is that he’s not suffering any more. He was suffering with the disease itself and the side effects of the chemo. The stroke was due to low platelets from the disease and the side effects of the chemo. I know it’s a long road ahead and life will never be the same without him Sandy