My husband passed away on Monday, the house seems so lonely and empty. I was his caregiver as well as his wife. He has end stage renal failure and Alzheimer’s. He decided he no longer wanted to do dialysis. He had so much anxiety the night before dialysis and the morning of. The needles were painful and he went 3 days a week and was there sometimes 5 hours. He was so miserable and just cried and didnt want to go. He prayed about it and ask God what to do. He was a Christian man and in his final days he said he wanted to go home and be with Jesus. He lived almost 9 days after stopping dialysis. But it was his decision and he was comfortable with it. I just miss him so much and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.
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Hello Ginnysuehol, so sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. We have a lot in common . Wish I was there with you so we could talk. Kidney failure is a terrible thing, my husband also had Kidney failure, he started dialysis back in 2020, he hated it., always feeling sick afterwards 
and the needles, poor thing, I would put a numbing cream before he went. In 2022 he had a kidney transplant, I was his donor, . He was okish for the 3 years, but always had some kind of complication. His kidney was failing again, I took him to the hospital February 26, he needed emergency dialysis, but he also had pneumonia, was septic, went into a coma, he passed away 3 weeks later. I was afraid of him starting dialysis again cause I know he didn’t want that, I never imagined he would die. Im completely devastated, please take care, May God bless you
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I am so sorry. Yes our stories see almost identical. I as well did the numbing cream but he said it was still painful. He only lived 9 days after stopping dialysis. I miss his terribly he was my entire life. Please take care of yourself you are in my prayers
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Hello, thank you for prayers 
, I also had an aunt that passed away because she no longer wanted dialysis. Sending prayers take care. God bless
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Hi Glenda, I am sorry to hear you suffering, it is the most painful situation we go through in life. When my wife died I spent many hours walking in nature which I found a useful strategy. Being tired from exercise serves to reduce cortisol which helps reduce anxiety and makes sleep easier. I also lifted weights which allowed me to channel the pain I was feeling into something beneficial. Talking on this site was also a great help as everyone understands how you feel.
Attending a bereavement group is also useful. I hope you find some solace here.
Wishing you all the strength you will need. All the best
Tom
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