Hi everyone
This is the 1st time i have posted & wanted to share my story. I lost my mum at christmas whilst i was in hospital having an infusion for my auto immune disease. The autopsy revealed she had a cardiac event & died from a critical focal stenosis from undiagnosed ishaemic heart disease. I lived with my mum, we were best friends & helped support each other. From the moment i was told, my body went into complete shock, both physically & psychologicalically. I couldnt stop shaking, couldnt barely eat or drink & felt like a lost child. I couldnt retain any new info & forgot how to cook or clean or look after my mself.
I blamed myself for weeks, thinking i should of sent my brother around that evening when i didnt hear from her as we spoke everynight. We had spoken in the morning & she had told me she felt really tired so i thought she had fallen asleep in the chair as she sometimes did. I then blamed my brother for not checking on her when i told him i hadnt heard from her but he reported that he had lunch with her that day.
I now have turned my attention to her gp as to how this has gone undiagnosed despite quite a lot of red flags. She had put on weight, cholestrial had increased to 7.1, she was always fatigued, she had swelling in her feet, ankles & lower legs which often felt numb.
She had undergone knee surgery a year before so basic tests had come back normal so her current GP felt that something would have shown up on the tests if there had been a problem & felt no more need to investigate.
I feel this is hugely negligent & further tests should have been done esp as there is family history of heart disease.
The fact that my mum died alone on the bathroom floor absolutely haunts me every single day & i am seriously considering putting in a complaint to her care as i feel that this could have been prevented.
8 months before her death, the doctor mentioned statins but they were spoken about in a negative light & there was no mention of the risks of cardiovascular disease so my mum decided against them.
This may or may not have changed the outcome but could have given her a chance before more noticeable symptoms began.
Im aware that looking for someone to blame is a part of the grieving process but feel strongly on this.
Im currently in hospital now which really brings everything back to the day it happened which is 1 of my reasons for reaching out. Sorry for the rant
Hi,
I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you’re going through. Don’t apologise for ranting, it’s what this is here for. Let it all out!
Make the complaint. If you feel like there were things that were missed with your mum’s care then let them know about it. They need to know what they did wrong and how they can make changes. If it’s something you feel like you need to do then do it. Just make sure that you’re taking care of yourself in all of this too.
Sending love,
Louisa
Thanks Louisa, i appreciate that