can someone talk to me i’ve suffered a lot from death from the age of 6-7 and am 46 now but am still struggling to the point that my life’s stuck and i can’t escape from it,shit it affects everything

Hi truckykid41
How are you? I lost my grandad aged 15. Then a friend when I was 17, my grandmothers when I was 25 and 26, my best friend sue when I was 26 too, then my dad when I was 27.
I didnt lose anyone else apart from from two uncles a couple of years ago. But then the very worst death of all. My best friend,my mum last year when I was 48.
Who have you lost and how do you cope?

hi,i also lost friends one died of an overdose at work then my best friend died the day we got back from our holiday to gran canaria and it was my birthday the 8th of november 2001from an overdose,so i guess you’ve worked out by now i used to be a junkie,but i’ve been clean since 2007.But apart from that shit i find it really hard with my day to day shit ,how do you cope.

Hi trickykid41.
I’m sorry to hear of your losses. I coped well until my mum died. I dont cope well without her in all honesty
I just take every day as it comes but I cant fjbx happiness without my mum in the world.
Glad you got off the drugs…that must have been very hard…

The drugs weren’t that hard it’s what’s followed that’s hard too much death to deal with being clean my head just finds it hard to deal with it all and not having a coping mechanism and i don’t know if it’s because of the drugs or that my brain is fucked,i can’t work it out.With drugs it was so much easier ,i could deal with it but now, and i’ve been clean for years i still can’t stop the sorrow from playing in my head i think i’m going mental most of the time

I lost my friend from an overdose then my best friend from an overdose the day we got back from gran canaria and it was my birthday and i woke up to him being dead at the end of the bed it was so shocking to me i really didn’t no what was happening it was like i wasn’t there but i was and then having to deal with my friends and police and family i was well i don’t know what i was but i know it fucked me right up and i dont think its fair that my friends die but leave me a parting gift of fucking my life up the selfish wankers

Have you tried counselling at all? It didnt work for me but your circumstances are much more complicated and may help? I just want my mum back and counselling cant do that but you have other reasons.

Hi @Trickykid41, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost two friends to overdoses, and were with one of them at the time. Congratulations on getting clean from drugs yourself (and staying clean all these years). I’m sorry that your losses have left you feeling that your life is messed up and you are going mental.

You’ve had some terrible experiences, and it is understandable that they would affect you. It’s important to have some support and somewhere to share your feelings, so I’m glad you’ve been able to take the first step of writing things down here.

When a loss has had serious long-term impacts, then counselling can also be really helpful. Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. You can sign up online and book an assessment to check the service is suitable for you - find out more:

The Bereaved Through Alcohol and Drugs website might also have some useful resources:

Yes i’ve tried but can’t seem to talk them i really have to trust them and you cant do that in an hour,i was even told by a physiatrist after an hour of spilling my head out to hear she could not deal with me because i was attending a drug agency so i could keep clean and that just destroyed me for weeks.Can’t even trust doctors for help they just see me as an ex junkie.

Thank you.I find it hard talking about it to people it’s a trust thing they just see me as a junkie even thow iv’e been clean for many many years.But thanks for your kind words and i will look it to the web site.

How about good friends?
Anyone else? Sorry you are going through a tough time

yes but don’t trust them not to tell everybody my problems which they probably would,so that would be more trouble,but thanks for the suggestion much appreciated .

Fair enough x

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