‘I don’t see the loss of my son as a theme,’ he says. ‘I see it as a condition of being. That’s what loss ultimately is for us all: it’s a thing that we become – an amalgam of our losses. It’s not like: great, I have my theme to write about. I don’t feel that in any way at all. I just feel the temperature of my writing changed completely after Arthur died. It became concerned with different things. But I do agree, in the sense, that you can… you can be obliterated, and be forced to put yourself back together again, and you can put yourself back together again in a way that allows you a kind of freedom to express yourself in other ways.’
The above is taken from a written article on musician and songwriter Nick Cave. I find him intriguing and very deep. I relate to him because I can often go into deep thinking mode myself. I was never like this before my loss and just as Cave says the ‘temperature of his writing changed’, well, the temperature of my thinking changed. It’s who I am now and whilst I can still have fun, I feel ultimately that my sparkle has gone. I’m much more emotional and things bother me greatly, things which I would never have dwelled on before my loss. I have become much more intolerant of the actions of people. Perhaps Cave is right - Loss is a thing that we become…