I sadly lost my mother in October 2024. I moved in and looked after her. It was easy at first, I’d cook. I’d take her shopping and she could ask and answer simple questions. Over 8+ years she slowly faded away. I had to keep her clean, clean up hers messes as she lost control after 5 yrs. Then over the the next two years shelost her memory. She thought she was forty and then every day she regressed a little more until she didnt knowy name, who i was and why she was in her home. She was then thinking she was under 20 and kept asking to go home and aggressive because i wouldnt/couldnt let her go home to her mom. At that time i was changing and cleaning mom 3 times a day. I began having to feed her as if shed regressed back to being a young child. Months later she couldnt swallow anything so she was put on end of life care. I was at the hospital every day. It took 8 days for her to pass. (I feel dosgusted with this option, if my dog was at end of life id have it euthanised.) My mom suffered for eight days, the family suffered for eight days. All i could do was wet we mouth with a swab and watch here turn into a skeleton. Theres got to be another way. I cant get one of those eight days out of my head. It was horrendous.
Now, i still live at the house, im stuck because i cant work and cant move from the the house and start a life as i cant get a mortgage(my problem.)
But I am empty emotionally. I cant get over the week of hell mom was put through before she died. And i miss her so much deeply. I cry regularly and I’ll never forget the beautiful woman that is my mom
Hello @Dean198,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you will find lots other members sharing their experiences of living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Alex
Dean, I am with you it took mum two months to die in the same way,
Beyond comprehension that it happens, i was there day and night for two months mum died April 24 and my last thoughts and my waking thoughts are of her every day.
Goodness me you did your mum proud what a wonderful person you are.
Im sure your mum would want you to live in the house and make a life right there proud of the both of you getting through it together , with dementia getting through is the top accolade and you gave her the best care.
Maybe some couselling will help , you have to process trauma it affects you physically and mentally and yours is compounded by grief.
Channel your anger make it a strength, you had the strength to be everything for your mum and you also need time to rest you have been stepping up for such a long time.
I am in awe of what you did you never left her side the emotions will return and you will live life to the full again. time time time cliche but so true.
This is a good place post share your thoughts and never feel alone.
Thank you for your kind words. They have really made me think outside my own problems and think about other’s situations. I hope i can take on your sensible outlook. I know many many people are or will be afected by death, however it the situation. If everyone fell apart like i have, nothing would get done in th world.
I will take your advice and get counselling, because I just cant process it yet, and its been 9 months. Ive been suffering in silence when really i need some help to start the process.
Im going to search it now.
Its kind of you to care.
Thank you, once again Olive3
Dean