Dementia

Hi all well I’ve finally got a diagnoses for my grandad all though I knew it was dementia, I’m finding it hard now it down on paper, he been in respite for 48 days now, as I couldn’t cope anymore as he became aggressive towards me, he’ll hopefully now be staying where he is, I went and seen him on Tuesday but it was like he didn’t recognise who I was, ( he sometimes calls me my mum which was his daughter who I lost 4 years ago), I’m finding it harder now than I was before he went in there, it’s a lovely place where he is and they ring me and let me know all the time how he is and I can go see him whenever, I just can let believe in the space of 4 months I went from having a strong independent grandad to what seem like a lost little old man, it breaks my heart seeing him like he is. He’s always been there for me through everything I’m his little princess

Hi sambob62

I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult time at the moment. It is really hard seeing the one you love deteriorate so quickly. My dad had alzheiemers he was only 69 when he passed. My dad to went in a home as my mum found it difficult. Even though he doesn’t recognise you he still loves you. My dad used to call me different names but I just went along wih it even though it hurt. It’s such a cruel disease but just remember you will always be his princess. Take care and if putting it down on paper helps keep doing that. There are lovely people here that will support you. Take care and look after yourself xx

Hi sambob62,

I am sorry to read your post and the hard time you are having. Dementia is such a cruel disease as it takes the essence of the person suffering from it and is just unfair on those who have to see the decline. Your Grandad as Joey says still loves you and may have times when he does know you.

It is good your Grandad is living in a nice place. He is getting what he needs which is to be comfortable, well fed and looked after. That is what we all want after all. Being able to go and see him whenever you want is great and important for you as well as him. Although hard make the most of this time you have together. Even just sitting with him and seeing him smile will be a memory you will have, knowing he was happy though confused.

You will always be his princess whatever happens.
Mel

Hi Mel thank you so must for your lovely message, yes I will try to enjoy the time we have left with him, it harder someday than others, but he always says love you when I leave which always brings a tear to my eyes, cause it like even though he might not know who I am he still has love to give to people it like my grandad is still there even when he not sure where he is if that make sense

Thank you joey means a lot that your taken the time to reply, yes it does help, when I first come on here I didn’t think This sort of thing would help me but it does, it’s nice to no I’m not alone although some days I feel like I am, yes I do the same Although it hurts me loads as I lost my mum and sometime I got sit a pretend to be her, It also hurts that I’m lying to him about her as well and it always in the back of my mind that one day he may remember that she died and then I’ll have to see him heart broken all over again, I just hope that doesn’t happen because when he’s taking about her or to me as her he always has the biggest smile on his face, she was his only daughter and they had the strongest bond I’d ever seen although he had 2 sons it was always my mum that was there and done everything for him

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