Did I make my Dad proud?

As the eldest of 2 girls and a boy I always felt that I had to impress what I was doing to my Mum and Dad. In a stable marriage and always having been financially and emtionally independant why did I need to search for Dads approval? Why when I visited did he always ask “how are your brother and sister doing. What trouble are they in now?” When I moved 420 miles away from the family why didnt Dad ask how I was? When he passed suddenly 5 weeks ago I was angry at him. Why did he leave me not knowing how I was, not seeing my 2nd home, not knowing about my new tough job? Then 2 days later my son told me. “Mum I saw Grandad a few weeks ago and he said what a nightmare your brother and sister were growing up and now in their 40s causing him sleepless nights though there was nothing he could do. Grandad told me never ever did you give him cause for concern…nit once and he never needed to ask how you were or what you were doing because he knew you’d be fine and you’d be well but most of all how proud he was of you”.
I knew right there and then thats why my Dad never asked because he didnt need too. Im not angry now Im so pleased I made him peoud and it was an unspoken given between us. Now I just want that chance to tell him I understand and it tears me apart knowing I wont have the chance. Im crying writing this and I know I shouldnt cause he is with me and I know it will be alright…just like it always was and theres no need to justify my tears.
Ang x

1 Like

i had a similar relationship with my dad, i was the first to be there in his cancer and took him to his hospital apa and cared for him (along with my 2 sisters) the others always made me feel i was last on his list and he was always asking about them or worrying… he never really said alot about feelings i know he loved me but i always wonder if i was really last on his list.

i miss him alot

sounded like your dad was very proud of u xxx

Im sure you werent last on his list at all. Like me, your Dad probably knew you were fine and the fact you were there to support him when he needed you meant he could rely on you without having to acknowledge you were doing so. Thats what I understand about my situation now. My Dad wasnt one for showing his feelings but he loved me and now I know he always was proud he would just never tell me that old devil lol.

A x