This was the first Christmas since losing my mum and I feel like I was stifling how I was missing her and grieving for her for the sake of others not to ruin their Christmasses and just put an act on like they expect me to be okay and not feel anything , I feel in fact that I have stifled all my feelings for a very long time , its like they almost expect me not to feel or react and like they expect me to be ‘over it’ whatever that means , in addition I have a sick husband who is getting more ill and we have faced some scary times recently and I have also just lost a close friend , hubby to mt longest ever friend who is like a sister to me so I just feel overwhelmed at times and kind of start crying a little but then because of others stop myself and put a lid on it for their sakes , people really do not understand nor do they want to …we are soooo bad in UK dealing with grief, one things I learned when I lost my mum was how alone I felt and how no one even close family really understood or dealt with it and just shied away . so called friends stopped bothering with me. People seem to think not talking about my mum somehow makes me feel better whereas its really quite the opposite !
I’m sorry to hear about your mum and now your friend. I understand how hard Christmas was for you. It’s normal to not want to celebrate occasions when you are grieving, especially as you are also juggling caring for your husband. It’s important to do what is right for you.
You are right, it’s so important to talk about the people we love who have died. If you wanted to share some of your favourite memories of your mum and your friend here, we are all here to listen.
Take care, Rhi