Disappointed And Sad

Hi everyone I hope today has been kinder to you all feeling very low as today it’s six month and two weeks exactly since my soulmate Edward fell asleep in my arms
I had a Gps appointment this afternoon needless to say I was offered some antidepressants no tablets will fill this hole in my existence so I kindly said no was told to ring cruse bereavement back but im still looking at another eight weeks minimum if anything more ring Samaritans so left in tears and cried my way home in the rain to an empty silent house I hope your all okay and today was a little kind to you all in my thoughts take care Adele x

Hello Adele. Sorry for your horrid day. Everything feel such an effort at a time like this doesn’t it. I’m so proud of you for refusing those tablets. In fairness to Doctors I don’t think they really know what to say to you. Tablets are really all they have on offer., and as you so sensibly said, there is no tablet to take away this pain. They might deaden the senses but only for a short time, then it’s back to the real world. I’m surprised they can’t arrange counselling for you… Cruse seems to be a waste of time. Long wait here as well, so given up. Have you a local hospice, they might be able to help. I go to a group session with the hospice once a month, not much help but pleasant to meet up with other people that are suffering for a chat, tea and cake. What about your local hospital have they anything on offer. You still have us so all is not lost. Were thinking about you. Pat xxx

Hello Adele. Sorry for your horrid day. Everything feel such an effort at a time like this doesn’t it. I’m so proud of you for refusing those tablets. In fairness to Doctors I don’t think they really know what to say to you. Tablets are really all they have on offer., and as you so sensibly said, there is no tablet to take away this pain. They might deaden the senses but only for a short time, then it’s back to the real world. I’m surprised they can’t arrange counselling for you… Cruse seems to be a waste of time. Long wait here as well, so given up. Have you a local hospice, they might be able to help. I go to a group session with the hospice once a month, not much help but pleasant to meet up with other people that are suffering for a chat, tea and cake. What about your local hospital have they anything on offer. You still have us so all is not lost. Were thinking about you. Pat xxx

Hello Adele. Sorry for your horrid day. Everything feel such an effort at a time like this doesn’t it. I’m so proud of you for refusing those tablets. In fairness to Doctors I don’t think they really know what to say to you. Tablets are really all they have on offer., and as you so sensibly said, there is no tablet to take away this pain. They might deaden the senses but only for a short time, then it’s back to the real world. I’m surprised they can’t arrange counselling for you… Cruse seems to be a waste of time. Long wait here as well, so given up. Have you a local hospice, they might be able to help. I go to a group session with the hospice once a month, not much help but pleasant to meet up with other people that are suffering for a chat, tea and cake. What about your local hospital have they anything on offer. You still have us so all is not lost. Were thinking about you. Pat xxx

1 Like

HI Adele
Sorry that your trip to the GP was not particularly productive but you did so well not to accept pills at this time. Your pain is palpable but you have come a long way in the last four days and Edward would be so proud of you. I hope you have a calm evening…remember we are all here for each other. Take care x

1 Like

Hi I’m sorry that you are feeling very low. We all understand what you are feeling. It’s horrible. I hope you can get some comfort from this forum.
Take care of yourself
Christine x

1 Like

Thankyou Pat I really appreciate it yes no tablets in the world can cure this unsufferable heartache im thinking the same about cruse bereavement too but ill give it a go and thankyou for your kind words means alot I will look into whats on offer as I learn to pick myself a little a very bad day today my head and body are acheing in pain just to hold my Edward once more thanks for your kind words take care speak soon Adele x

Thankyou so much for your kind words means alot I hope he is I miss him more every hour thanks again take care speak soon Adele x

Hi thankyou so much for your kind words means alot I hope today was kinder to you to and everyone else also take care speak soon Adele x

Hi Ade

I hope today is a better day for you.

I too didn’t want anti depressants as I want to get better naturally. Grief is natural. I want to let it all out.

Nature helps me. Feeling part of a bigger universe makes me feel more connected to my mum and dad somehow.

I will share something my mum told me when she was given the news she had terminal cancer weeks after my dad died. “Can you get through today?” I said I guessed so then she said “well that is how you will get through all this”. My God I miss my mum and dad so much but those words have helped me and I hope they help you too.

Sending love on a beautiful Sunday morning.

Ann xx

Hi Ann im so sorry for your loss it’s utterly devastating thankyou for your kind words means so much take care of yourself and speak soon Adele x

Such sensible sentiments about anti depressants, I think so anyway. I’m with you. No tablet will cure what we feel.

1 Like

Hi Adele
Maybe you are stronger than you think refusing antidepressants. The wait for counselling for you seems rubbish. I met my counsellor today for the first time and one of the first things she told me was she can offer 12 sessions! So I left afterwards crying too thinking well what happens after that because I’m sure this grief isn’t going to be nicely boxed up by then.
I hope you are feeling a little better this evening and have managed to eat something a bit healthier than me. My tea consisted of a cup of coffee and some quality street which my lovely hubby had bought. I even questioned whether to open them because he bought them.
Xxx

Hi im sorry to hear that of course after a few sessions your heart will never ever heal even in years to come we have lost our future our soulmates my Edward loved quality streets had a really bad day hardly made it out of bed can’t stomach anything even water is difficult I hope tomorrow is kinder to you take care of yourself as much as possible in my thoughts and thankyou for your kind words means alot Adele x

How hard it is to lose someone but I think you are so strong not to take the tablets. I have thought of going to the doctor’s but then thought he would just prescribe pills which I don’t want. I am sure Edward is still with you and very proud of you and understands your pain completely. It is so hard to face each day without our loved ones but deep down we know we have to find the strength somewhere and it is ok to have a wobble. I have found this forum a great comfort as I hope you have. It helps to talk on here where we can let out what we are feeling to others that understand. Sending you my love and thinking of you xx

Dear Ade
You are right - pills will only numb you for a little while- they will not help with grief. There is no pill for that. I find stroking my husbands watch which I have taken to wearing really helps and I talk to him when I do it. I also tend to get a bee in my bonnet and at the moment I want to find a locket to put a lock of his hair in. Sounds daft but I can focus on that - so spend ages looking a lockets on line. Not sure if I will ever find the perfect one - but it is a distraction. Not sure how long it will work - but nothing will change. I still cant believe I have lost him - so am dreading the funeral which is still 11 days away - as I will have to accept it then I suppose. Keep chatting - it helps I think.
Trisha x

Hi Trisha, so sensible about the pills. I have said this before but if someone invented one for grief they would make a fortune.
I wear my husband’s watch. I also have a locket which my family bought for me so I don’t know where they got it from. It is silver and has a photo of him and a tiny container for ashes which the funeral director put some in for me. I’m frightened to wear it in case I lose it. But do wear it on special occasions so that he is with me. I keep it in a small box by the side of the bed and speak to him and kiss it every night and morning. sometimes I wear it during the night. It was Brian’s birthday this week and I wore the locket all day.

Trisha…
…I know the feeling of leading up to our loved ones funeral…I too was dreading that day as it was all left down to me to organise it as Richards family lived miles away but, you know what? I managed to do it and am proud of myself for what I achieved…I arranged Richards funeral to the way both myself and how I knew my Richard would have wanted it, and on that day everything turned out perfect as funerals go…Yes I agree, it is the after the funeral, that is when one will feel more alone, more by themselves, this is now just me, I am now completely alone, or that is how I feel…
Just organise the funeral as your hubby and yourself would have wanted it to be…Yes the funeral-cremation is the final closure, not easy to organise nor go through…
Yes do look for that perfect for you locket, if this is what will give you calmness-closeness, do it, do it for yourself…

Jackie…

Trisha…
…I want to retract my word " closure, " as there will never be closure after we have lost our beloved partner…We-I want-need to keep my Richard alive in my memory and my heart for as long as I am here, even after when my time is up, we are-were meant to be as one from the day we first met…

Jackie…

I too was offered antidepressants from my local GP when she was told I had just lost my Richard that day 5 weeks 3 days ago, 11th April, and turned them down flat as nothing was going to bring my Richard back and I need to keep a clear head…
Patti…
…yes a pill to bring the person you care for-love back, or to put the clock back to happier times with the person-partner, and even our pet dogs that we love, and a pill to completely get rid of my PP-MS but these are just a pipe dream…

Jackie…