My friend’s responses to our daughter’s suicide was appalling. I said nothing for a time, choosing to just distance myself instead. But my anger at their treatment reached a point where I decided to start calling them out for their behaviour. To my astonishment, they didn’t apologise, they actually retaliated. I can’t seem to have them understand how much they’ve hurt me. What am I to do?
2 Likes
I lost my daughter to suicide September last year and everyone I know has been incredibly supportive, although 6 months on, the “How are you?” Messages and calls have become less frequent, even from good friends.
I think the question here is, are they even a friend? For questioning such a tragic loss? Do they not have empathy? Do they have children of their own? There is no explanation or fitting description to express how grief of losing a child to suicide affects you.
I spoke to Mike from the ‘3 walking dads’ last week and he described the feelings perfectly.
No one understands how you feel unless they too have been through the same trauma, and ‘commited’ suicide is no longer a way of describing how your loved one died. They commited no crime, they showed bravery to leave this world when the world became too much. It’s always the wrong decision and a permanent solution to what is normally a temporary problem.
Always remember your well being and health come first, and if I’m honest….anyone with your ‘friends’ attitude would no longer be part of my life. There is no coming back from that.
Stay strong, love is stronger than you think. 
1 Like
Thanks Wayne, I’m very sorry for your loss, which is more recent than ours. You must be hurting. My story goes back further but I won’t bore you with it. Yes, they all have children and I will never understand their response.
Hi there
Am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son in a car accident 15 years ago, he was 19. 6 months ago I lost my darling husband to pancreatic cancer.
I can empathise with your sad loss and I too am appalled at some people and how cold hearted they are. My family don’t speak to me anymore, I don’t know what I’ve done to them, and one of my friends said ‘oh I don’t know what to say anymore’ and she’s an oncology nurse!
My thoughts go out to all of you affected by this dreadful loss of your beautiful children, it really is the most terrible pain.
I’ve learned that I don’t need these people iny life. It’s hard enough to keep going every day.
Take good care 
2 Likes
Thanks Peg2, I am sick and tired of everyone telling me they don’t know what to say. “How are you getting on?” would be a start. Another one said to me recently “sure, we can have a coffee, but don’t expect that I can do anything for you.” They all seem to have the emotional capacity of a house brick. I am very lonely in my grief.
2 Likes