Disbelief

Neighbour popped in - only to tell me her news -
Conversation her, her & hubby , her & her dogs.
Commenting on her hubby when coming in from garden not liking her choice of music. - I could only say that some days I need silence other days TV & radio on as can’t stand the silence.
I don’t expect to talk about my hubby all the time but I think she has the problem of denial of what things are like when a partner has gone.
I had a robin in my garden this morning which I took comfort in.

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Kath, I can only say that her behaviour is normal. Sorry but it has happened to me and many, many others on this site, as they say ‘they don’t get it’ but when it’s them, they will understand which is such a a shame. We don’t talk about death or bereavement.
I love your Robin they are such cheerful little birds and are just about got their colours for winter.
Bless you for posting, take care. Sending big hugs. S xx

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Kath I know what you mean. I have that. People talk at me as though ignoring the big thing I am going through. I am trying to understand that it is the only way they know how to make contact and they are making contact because they are thinking of me. They are scared to ask me how I am in case they upset me. If they ask I tell the truth or I try and tell them anyway.

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It’s weird isn’t it. I had a friend, who is the sweetest person, talk in a monologue about their career problems when we met up just after my mum died. I remember trying to talk a bit about what had happened but they just seemed so stressed by it that I gave up. I didn’t expect that kind of thing at all.

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I’ve been hurt & angry with " you know where we are if u need us" ,- hollow insincere words.
I previously wanted to scream just wait till it happens to you , but they need to be pitied.
7 months on and after following this wonderful community , I feel calmer within myself
I will never ever get over losing hubby but I’m adjusting with support from son, daughter and my grandkids &
2 good friends to rely on.
Do what’s right for yourself.

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Glad to hear you’re feeling calmer and have some good support around you. I’ve found I’ve definitely had to be resourceful and sought alternative support, like this community and counselling. But yeah, I’ve been very hurt by people who I saw as friends making a big noise about being here for me but actually have avoided any contact for the past year. I don’t want to be ‘bitter’ but it has changed my outlook, I’m less trusting. Hopefully that will change a bit.

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