Do I have to feel guilty

I wrote about why I thought this site may not help me however it does I know my journey is raw he only died in July. The thing is I realise how much I want to it be it will never bring him back. I have some lovely family and friends who have supported me but the one thing I haven`t done is make it all about my loss as they would feel uncomfortable with that. This is my pain no one else’s so why should it be theirs I had a really torrid time when he was in hospital, and he was a Vet he would have put himself down weeks ago if he was a dog I also feel guilty as a Vet I should have picked up on this.I miss him so much and constantly asked if I am doing the right thing. I am sorry if my previous posts have been offence

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Sending you a a hug….:heart::pensive:x

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In no way have your previous posts been offensive. :heart:…. I think everyone is just so different. I’ve been in my own all day, just thinking…. I’m trying my best to be strong; it’s bloody hard. Stay in touch, with love…xx​:heart::pensive:

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BTW, how amazing that your gorgeous hubby was a Vet ( my favourite type of person) Martin and I had our two little girls ( two Yorkies) we lost both of them in the space of a year…:pensive:…. Broke our hearts. We both knew we could never own doggies again, so I looked into becoming Foster carers with The Dogstrust. We were actually the first Foster carers in Northern Ireland ( that was back in 2016) in total we had around 21 wee souls that we looked after and all went to lovely new families. Are you a Vet also? What a special couple…:pensive::heart::broken_heart:x

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Yes which is why I feel so guilty as should have known my hubby was ill and he died of sepsis which makes it very hard. When we lost our dog we couldnt adopt as we are not fenced in what better carers would we have met . Sometimes a lot of knowledge can be a bad thing which in our case it was. I remember seeing the Dr 2 days before he died saying he wouldn`t make it he agreed then he said you never know the human body is amazing why!! I knew he knew so why say this. The day he died I said to them if he was a dog he would have put himself down 6 weeks ago. Maybe some times I come across as cold but I have dealt with death so much in the past and each time its traumatic. There is nothing in the world as the pain you feel of the death of a partner no matter how prepared you are.

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So very true, my husband died suddenly last December without any warning, he had had a bit of a cold with aches and pains but said he was feeling a lot better the day before. You are feeling numb for months then you start to remember little things. He was not one for going to the doctor’s over anything but his asthma as we knew that could be life threatening. Yet I started to remember things he said and done and there is one thought that keeps going through my mind, I play it over and over again. I was helping him get back into bed on the Tuesday and he suddenly turned and said he wished he could go to sleep and not wake up. He must have been feeling really unwell to make such a remark. The guilt I feel now because I should have insisted we get the doctor in and didn’t. We found out from the post mortem that he had enlarged prostate and a blockage that was causing his urine to go back into his kidneys. We had no knowledge that he had any problems.
I just feel so guilty that I should have known something was wrong but if there are no signs what do you do.

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