I can never imagine being the same person again! 11 weeks in and I’m not that social, bubbly, talkative confident person anymore I’m the complete opposite. Do you ever get back to being somewhere near the person you were because I can never see it happening
3 Likes
Hi Sah, yes you do. Same, same, but different. Well that’s been my experience> For the moment. I can’t really give you a timetable but for me it’s been quite recent, I’m around 9 months. I was out today at a friends, he has a couple of lovely kids, my wife and I helped with home schooling with them during the lockdown and we were all quite close. The last time I was with them I had to really hold myself together, disappear to the bathroom, you’ll know what I mean. The youngest, his daughter of 6, even asked concernedly if I was missing my wife, I told her I was and she told me not to worry as she would be with the Queen. I was dejected. This time I had a ball, laughing, eating, talking, a really nice few hours. I was back in the room, different, but there with them in the moment. How long will it last, who knows, probably on my knees again tomorrow. But now I know it’s possible, I’m in with a chance. And if I am, believe me from where I’ve come from we all are.
7 Likes
Thanks, it’s nice to know that you can have them days and hopefully they get more regular for you.
1 Like
What scares me is that I can have an afternoon out or a coffee morning with a friend and find myself laughing and feeling at peace, then even that same evening or a day after utterly miserable and so lonely. Sometimes I feel despairingly lonely when I’m with friends - just missing that special someone. It’s a strange and disturbing place to find yourself in.
5 Likes
Yeah I definitely live that life. It just suddenly floods through you. Funny thing was today, my friend had a photo of my wife on a pin board full of many, it was the last time she met the kids and I could just see all the love in her eyes and it made me feel happy. The first time I’ve looked at a photo of her and felt real joy, And it felt really weird, And for the moment it still feels okay and I’ll go with that.
4 Likes
I think that’s the scary part in all this grief. One day you feel good and think you are going forward and then you ‘worry’ that you’re feeling too well and when is it going to hit you again. At the moment I seem to be coping 10 weeks in a little better, but scared I may go backward again! I think from reading grief books, they often say “two steps forward, one back”. xx
4 Likes