Doctors visit

Been to doctors today and had a good chat with him about my anxiety and how I’m feeling. Was very anxious and just started crying straight away. He agreed counselling would be good for me but has also given me medication. I didn’t want to go on tablets but the way he explained it was good. He said it’s like a bucket with holes in and the water is getting lower like our mood, the tablets top the water up and the counselling works to fix the holes. He also said it takes a while to get to feeling this bad that it’s no quick fix and it’ll take a while to feel better but he assured me I will given time.I have to ring to arrange counselling but no doubt there will be a wait for it.
It was good to talk to him xx


Hello Barbara, so pleased you have taken such a brave step forward and you should feel very pleased with yourself. Don’t forget to read the leaflet regarding the tablets and look after yourself. You are doing really well and life will improve. S xxx

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Yes counselling does help but isn’t for everyone. I have had some and feel coming out the other side. I’ve even enquired about a volantry job to put some structure into my life. We’re all different and have to do what suits us nobody else. Good Luck and keep going forward xx

Thank you. Doctor suggested to me about doing some voluntary work but I couldn’t at the moment because my confidence has gone but he says when I get it back a bit I should do it or join a club or something. It is something I would like to do when I’m feeling a bit better. Xx

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Yes no pressure I did some before my husband died at hospital but I couldn’t walk back into that as it was where he died.
You will get there just at your speed and your own time Good Luck again. :four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover:

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Hi Ange
I had two counselling sessions just before my sons wedding and it really helped me cope on the day. I also do some volunteering at my local community hub/food bank and it has helped me a great deal. Two afternoons a week make be get ready put some makeup on and help others - most in far worse situations that me. Your correct it’s the structure that helps instead of just flopping from one day to the next. Hope you find what you are looking for.

All the best

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Thank you Georgia yes it’s a very different life but you have to try to keep going for the family. Its a new different life to what you would chose but we have to don’t we. Good Luck to you on your journey too. :four_leaf_clover::heart:X

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That’s such a good way of putting it …flopping from one day to the next.
Pleased the counselling helped you and you managed to enjoy your son’s wedding.
Doctor gave me a number to ring to arrange counselling but there is a 5 month waiting list. They gave me somewhere else to try. Rang them have to ring back tomorrow to see what their waiting list is. I have read on here people waiting 3 months so was prepared for that but 5 months seems such a long time to wait when it’s now you need help.
Seems like it’s a struggle to get anything these days.
Sorry for moaning. Having a bad day xx

Oh Barbara
Everything seems a struggle doesn’t it ? Please pursue the counselling. I paid privately for my two sessions but it was worth every penny. It did me good to speak to someone who wasn’t a friend of family member and it was a comfort to hear that the way I was suffering was perfectly normal. I cried most of the time and the lady was patient and reassuring and just let me say and sob what I wanted.

Fingers crossed it won’t be long before you get a session booked. I know it’s not for everyone but I can only speak for myself. Give it a go and decide for yourself.

Best of luck
Georgina xx

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I would humbly suggest (unless you are in serious risk or actually not coping) being very cautious about medication.

Feeling grief is normal, feels out of control, and is best dealt with by social support, backed up by counselling.

Yes, there are exceptions to that with depression, high anxiety, etc which border into actual mental illness, but these can also be in the first instance dealt with in a similar fashion.

This is not to say such drugs don’t have some place - but the over-medicalisation of emotions and grief is also commonplace in doctors surgeries - where there is limited time for anything else. Indeed exercise itself compares very well vs drugs for depression & anxiety.

I also ended up on a parade of such drugs - and these are not without side-effects, tolerance and sometimes significant withdrawal issues - all of which I experienced in their full awful effect, and which I bitterly regretted taking later on, however I slowly weaned off them later and am the better for it (not for the drugs!).

My late wife was also a fully trained psychologist and had a very skeptical view of them for what were (in most but not all cases) psychological issues that could be dealt with.

There are counselling options that don’t have the same wait-lists - web, phone, etc - so please be cautious unless you are in real medical need, suicidal, not-coping. There is no shame in taking drugs if you need them, but be especially cautious about long-term use…

I had absolutely no problems at all in coming off depression and anxiety pills.Please remember that counselling is not for everyone. and the waiting lists are ridiciculous.
Tablets for depression/anxiety are just like any other. You take them because they are needed at a certain time. They help and boy do we need hell.

Need help. Sorry for typo.

Well I’m just checking in once again to all you broken people.
We’re all on a different journey and at different points.
I am on my I’m on my 8th month on my own and can’t believe where I am. My husband I’m sure would be s proud of me at where I am. I miss him so much life is so different but I had councilling and it certainly has been good for me. I’m now finished the sessions and on my own journey. Have now enrolled in 2 little voluntree jobs a week which gets me out meeting people I walk as well. I used to love to read but since my husband died I couldn’t concentrate to read. So I joined a book club and nearly finished my first book.
I miss Alan everyday we were together for 53 years and had our routine and some days are harder than others. Good Luck to you all my family and friends help keep me going but it’s a long rocky lonely road. Keep going all you lovely people you will find your own way. X


I was wary of going on medication but my doctor was good and explained everything well. Two weeks in on the sertraline and have had no bad side effects so far apart from feeling a bit more tired and losing my appetite a bit. The most important thing is the last few days I have felt better, not so anxious, not tearful and I feel like my mood has lifted a bit.
I had a zoom grief seminar with cruse on Friday which was really good. After a talk they put us into two groups to chat. Have to ring them if I need more help to discuss what is next.

You are right. Like I said I didn’t really want to go on medication but the doctor said if I went to see him with a sore throat and he gave me tablets I wouldn’t hesitate so it’s just the same but it’s my mind that needs treatment. I couldn’t argue him because I knew he was right x

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