Does it get any easier?

Losing a partner
1

Hi, my husband of 41 years died on 31st July this year after being diagnosed with cancer in January.
The loss, the pain and the sorrow seem to be getting worse each week and I can’t see a way forward at the moment - not sure even who I am any more!
Is this ‘normal’ and will it get easier in time? Would be so grateful to hear the experiences of others please. Many thanks, Carol xx

2

Hi Carol sorry for the loss of your husband what you are feeling is normal it’s only been a couple of months for you I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48 I was in shock and couldn’t see any way forward I felt angry sometimes so many different emotions now I have some ok days and some bad take one day at a time get as much support as you can try not to think to far ahead .
Take care
Christine x

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Hi Carol
First let me say I’m sorry for your loss
My wife died on the 2nd of July with bowel cancer she only got 3 weeks from diagnosis. I too can’t see any future and the pain the longing and loneliness is unbearable. I can’t tell you it gets easier it probably never will. I believe we will carry this awful loss forever. Try to take a day at a time or as I do 1 hour at a time.
If you like to read find as many books on grief as you can it’s sounds wierd but it will help.
Take care William

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I can’t really answer your question from experience as my wife died on 12th August, so just 11 weeks ago. I’ve found that distraction in as many ways as possible is a good tactic in terms of shifting your focus for what might be short periods of time. Better still if you can find people to talk to who don’t know about your bereavement and they can stimulate you enough to be interested in new things. It’s difficult to build a new life but somehow that is going to be preferable to being locked in the past. I’ve joined various U3A groups and I’m finding that I can be distracted from my self pity and grief. I think things have got slightly better or easier for me but like most people I’m somewhat fearful of the future and whether I can sustain an improvement.

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Thank you for your reply Christine. So sorry for your loss too. Yes, I think a day at a time is the only way through this. I just let the feelings come and go. I have a lovely family who are all very supportive - don’t know what I’d do without them! You take care too xx

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Hi William,
Thanks for your reply and I’m really sorry for your loss too. I think you’re right that it won’t get easier. Perhaps we’ll just be able to manage it better.
I’ve found a website called the Good Grief Trust that looks helpful - I’ll read some of the articles on there.
You take care too.
Carol.

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Thanks for your reply William. So sorry to hear of your loss too. I think you’re right that this isn’t ever going to get easier. Perhaps we’ll just find a way of managing it. I’ve found a website called the Good Grief Trust that looks useful - I’ll read some of the articles on there.
You take care too.
Carol.

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Thanks for your reply. So sorry to hear of your loss. Yes, I’m giving myself until Christmas and then intend to do some voluntary work and try out new hobbies. Hopefully, that will help.
Good luck with your journey!
Take care,
Carol.

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Hi Carol,
So sorry for your loss, I know how you feel.
My wife of 46yrs passed over a year and a half ago now, although I find it easier to cope with and accept, I’m still locked in grief, I expect for ever.
Every day, I miss her like crazy, nobody could take her place, every moment, I’m thinking of her, and the lifetime of memories we had.
That will never change, nor do I want it to. It’s just a waiting game until we meet again, and living life as best as can until then… John x