Does it get better?

I think i’m a little younger than a lot of people on here, i’m 19. I’m sorry we’re all on here. But i’m looking for some guidance.

I’ve suffered several bereavements since i was 12, up until now, of people who were & still are the closest to my heart.

The most prominent being the passing of my beloved grandmother, who passed away in 2015. She suffered a very sudden and unexpected brain haemorrhage at home one night. The passing of my grandfather followed a year later in 2016. He had been suffering from Parkinson’s disease for over a decade, and in his final stages he passed away peacefully in hospital. I was very close with them growing up, and they were all i ever really knew. I don’t believe i’ll ever experience the same love i received from them in anyone else. They were my safety blanket.

As a result of this i became very severely mentally and physically unwell starting from 12 years old, however i have since recovered to a better state than i was in previously, after years of childhood therapy, & as i still continue to take various medications.

But the issue is the pain is still there, just as it was on the day it happened. 7 years & 6 years later i’m not able to even think, let alone talk about them for too long as the grief is so overwhelming it causes physical pain.

I’ve always heard it gets better with time, so why doesn’t it get better for me? Especially after so many years?

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Dear @Sim

Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry to hear of your losses and for the pain you are going through.

Have you had a chat with your doctor to let them know how you are feeling and to see what support they can offer you? Counselling on a one to one might also help you if you are interested, it does help to talk. Sue Ryder offers free Bereavement Counselling . You register for video counselling. When you are ready take a look at the website to see what it offers. This may be of help and support to you.

Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace and for some it can be years, this is normal. There is no time limit on grief. There is a Grief Guide which contains useful information and helps you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.

From experience over the years, you learn to accept your loved ones are not coming back (it does not mean you love them any less) but you do have to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. It is your grief journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

You have made a big step just by coming on here and reaching out. We are all here for you, you are not alone. If you need further information, please email online.community@suerydercare. org.

Take care.

Pepsi