Does life go on

I know animals have to be fed, watered and walked so they do give you a reason to get up. My daughter lent me her labradoodle Bertie who is 8 and the most adorable dog but my tolerance levels were zero so ended up getting annoyed at him when all he wanted was a cuddle. I hated myself for doing it as I love him and he couldn’t understand why Grannie was being nasty. I sent him back after two days. That was at the start so might try it again now. They do help you. I can’t imagine life without Bill either but we have to for the rest of the family. Xxx

Hi Shonzie. I posted on the sudden loss forum a week or so ago and although our experiences are different in some ways I really wanted to reply to your post.
We lost our sister Juliet two weeks ago suddenly following a fall at home. We are still not sure how she had such catastrophic accident but our loss was sudden, unexpected.
In my grief and shock I posted on this forum. The replies I had really helped me and reaffirmed by belief that there is so much kindenss and understanding in the world. It is all around us and we often don’t notice it.
I am so sorry for your misfortune. There is little comfort I can offer other than saying your post touched me, still dealing with my own loss, and it also helped me make sense of my brother in law’s grief having lost his wife and leaving behind a young teenage son. You are not alone in your grief, there are many who will read your post and find comfort in your thoughts. Thank you for sharing. Paddy and Ellie.

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Thank you. Your reply was lovely and as you say, we are not alone on here and although we are dealing with our own grief we can empathise with everyone on here. Your brother in law will be numb and have a pain which is almost physical. He is lucky he has his son as hopefully he will help him on the long road ahead. Sending him and all your family big hugs x

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Hi Shonzie, I lost my partner on my birthday 2 years ago. I totally empathise with your loss and even 2 years along I still struggle every day. They say there are 7 stages of grief and I’m just hitting the angry one now. I totally am alone, I have no friends or immediate family and my two boys are grown and leading their own lifes. They dont understand the grief I’m going through so I dont talk about it. It would be easy for me to say that you need to reach out to as many people as possible to support you but when your going through the process it can be really hard to do that and like you said it doesn’t help with the current situation we are all in. You took the first step by posting on here, it’s taken me 2 years to do it and I felt compelled to reply to you. Read and take in every post of support you get because it can be a highlight of the day knowing that there are people out there that want to reach out to you. Take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour and hopefully at some stage you will be able to manage your grief. My deepest sympathies and condolences for your loss. Xx

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Hi Vikki. Thank you for your reply. I am sorry for your loss and I can empathise. You are now doing the right thing by posting as it must be so lonely for you without any close friends or relatives. I am lucky to have both but can still feel lonely. Xx

feb9th 2019 my dad died, March 19th my Hubby died April 14 friend died June 28th friend died, July 6th sister in law died , my emotions and feelings were suicudal, my emotional reserves were so low, I decided to take a different path, the days were long, the nights longer, the pain overwhelmed me, the loneliness enveloped me , my husbands loss I thought would kill me, watching my children and grandchild grief manifest itself in so many ways. I never thought I would be able to move forward, it is still so very hard , it was easier after I had got thru the firsts Xmas , birthdays, etc and now here I am 14 months on from hubbys death and I am beginning to see the beauty in things again. No one can tell you how to feel especially people hat have not suffered the same loss as you have, all my griefs for friends, family, dad and hubby were very individual , no one can tell ou to move on move forward but I wanted to say to people hang in there, you can learn to live with your loss and see the way forward, my hubby and I had a very clear path forward, I felt that I had to walk it alone and that I kept getting pushed off onto the grass until I realised I am still on that path I’m just learning to walk it a different way! X

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Omg! I am so sorry for all your losses but you are on the right path and moving forward now. I want to move forward and start to learn to live life without my husband but with the Covid I can’t. I want to go out to work, for a drink with friends etc and learn how to come home to an empty house but I can’t. :sleepy: and it doesn’t look like I will be able to anytime soon.

Hi Kate, I used to say to my husband that he was my whole.life and I would just jump in beside him when he went. He would hug me and say you’ll be fine. 3 years on I still feel the same but I realise that I need to live for both of us now. It’s hard realising that you are not anyone’s no1 anymore. I go through the motions and make quite a good show. I appreciate all I have. Part of it is the growing old so that would have happened anyway. Don’t give up. Life still has lots to offer you. Don’t feel obliged to get on with things. It will come to you in time. Keep reading here. We’re all in it together. :heart_decoration:

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Hello Shonzie. I’m sorry for your loss, it has been so bad for you with the currant situation.
I lost my husband 7 months ago on the 1st July he went to have his eyes tested because of headaches. 29th July he started talking muddled, we realised something was wrong and got the paramedics out, he had a MRI scan . We were told it was brain tumours, he only lived 6 weeks. We’d been married for 58 yrs. it was an awful shock, my eldest daughter has kept me busy , doing things to the house. I find the worst time is night, as I am not sleeping very well. Also being tied to the house doesn’t help. I Have my meals cooked for me by a catering place in our town, and sometimes the delivery man is the only person I see all day. When people say how are you, I say everything is different now. But that is so for everyone all our lives are changed for ever. I still have my husbands clothes in the cupboards his wellies are in the garage and his wallet with his money in it is still in his drawer. I’m doing things I’ve never done before. I look on you tube for ways to do things if I’m stuck .
You take care things do get slightly better, and cry if you want to don’t bottle it up . Regards Gwyn

lovely post Ian

hope today was an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

blessings
Jen🦋

thank you Jen,
much appreciated.
regards
ian

hope you are coping as best you can

hope today was an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

blessings
Jen🦋

Hi. Thank you. Our circumstances sound similar. Those 6wks with someone who couldn’t remember my name and who had no comprehension of his illness were the worst. I wanted my husband and to discuss this but I couldn’t. I even tried to get passwords out of him but he couldn’t remember. 58yrs is a long time (we were only 11yrs together and married 2) , but it doesn’t matter as we have both lost the love of our lives. I’m sure it will get better once Covid does but it is just awful. Take care xx