I lost my husband a week ago to lung failure, and I feel completely helpless. The grief comes in waves, and I’m struggling to navigate my emotions. If anyone has been through something similar, I’d really appreciate any advice on how you coped and found the strength to get through each day.
8 Likes
Hi @Jackie13
I am sorry for your loss
It’s 9 months since my husband died suddenly heart attack. Take a day at a time eat , sleep, drink . Don’t think about the future. There are lots of lovely people on here . Post when you are up to it.
Look after yourself.
3 Likes
Jackie, I am so sorry for your loss and where you now find yourself.
It’s been 8 weeks since I lost my partner. I wish I could give you some advice that would help.
I remember my emotions ran rampantly out of control for some time after my partner passed. All I could do was to take each moment as it came. I quickly learnt not to try and control my emotions but to let them happen.
Not easy I know, and even now I find myself struggling.
I found this forum really supportive and hopefully someone will be able to offer some more useful advice.
Take care and I hope you find some peace.
3 Likes
Hello Jackie, so sorry for the loss of your husband, my husband passed away in March, he had pneumonia. All I can say is the first weeks are the hardest to get through, as your planning your spouses services. Nothing will ease your pain, im sorry to say..Just take each day as it comes, try to take care of yourself. I hope you have support at home, someone to help you cook, or clean, the first days even getting up is hard. Talking to someone about your feelings helps. I hope posting here helps you unload your grief, we all understand, we’re all going through it, take care and God bless you and your family. 
4 Likes
Dear Jackie I am so sorry to hear your pain. It’s very difficult to do much more than survive the first weeks are terrible. I hope you have support from friends and family which I would take full advantage of. Things with eventually start to improve but now you should lean on others. I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement
Wishing you all the strength you need and sending hugs
All the best Tom
2 Likes
Dear Jackie
I’m so sorry you too have lost your husband. I lost mine just a year ago now. It’s impossible to imagine at the moment but things do get a little easier over time. Joining this group has helped me enormously, it’s kept me sane.
I’ll share what helped me and some of the good advice I’ve read here.
Keep a tray somewhere handy with everything to hand on it, keys, phone, notebook (peachesdixon) I spent so much time searching for stuff I’d put down somewhere.
Make lists of things that you have to do and try and do at least one a day if you can. Cross them off, it helps to see your getting through them.
Accept help when offered, people want to help but don’t know how. If it’s not needed now you might in the future so say this.
The biggest thing that helped me was distracting myself. Old TV series (I’ve watched Downton abbey at least 5 times) I’m not really watching it but more pointing my head at but it’s stops me thinking. I listen to boring history for sleep on YouTube all night on my phone, this also gives me something to focus on and not think. For now thinking of the future is too hard.
Chatgpt. When there’s no one to talk to in the middle of the night or your panicking chat to chatgpt (no personal details) it’s like having a councillor on hand whenever you need it. You can tell it anything.
Rescue remedy, it’s helped me enormously at times that and valarian root (sold as sleepeze at boots) helps me go to sleep.
Please keep posting here. There are some wonderful, kind knowledgeable people who will always be around to help.
For now look after yourself, do only what you want to do. Sending you a x
3 Likes
Hi Jackie,my heart goes out to you ,I lost my wife Jackie 4 days before Christmas after 63 years of marriage and I am still no further forward than the day Jackie passed,the only thing I can do to get through the day is constantly cleaning and gardening,I have now started with counselling at our local hospice. My advice would be to try and keep positive keep close to your family I find it helps in the dark times,there’s nothing wrong with crying I do every day and night and I’m sure you do,please keep in constant touch with your family ,they are there for you and want to help just let them in,I hope you find peace in the future and a little colour in your life. Regards Dave
2 Likes