I’m sitting here alone crying,I want my wife back.I have been out today with brother and his girlfriend,meal,couple of drinks,but………….I so miss my old life with my wife,we would be in the garden or going for a walk,or drive.But I’m afraid to say no when people ask me to go with them because otherwise I’m on my own 24/7.Yesterday went to a football match with my nephew,something I wouldn’t of done if my wife was here.Everything is different now,and strange,so strange.We did everything together and I miss her so very much.The funeral is Wednesday and I know it’s going to be very,very emotional,as it I was for all of you on here…………trying to rebuild,get a new life is hard and I don’t know if I want it,but the alternative is sitting in house all alone all day,all night,day after day.we never had children and have little family,so don’t have much support……….A new life……I hate this new life
I feel exactly the same @Donant. I take invitations, even though I often don’t feel like it and don’t enjoy it. I’m approaching 6 months since my husband died suddenly and I don’t like the life I’m left with.
I hope the funeral goes well on Wednesday.
Thank you……………Yes it’s a life we don’t really want.We were never huge going out type of people,we preferred each other’s company,and just loved our house and going for walks………….The amount of money I have spent the last 4 days is unreal, meals,drinks etc.We rarely went out like that………But like I said I think we got to push ourselves to go out when people ask,but I hate it already……….I’m only 52 and feel so utterly lonely,for instance now it’s coming up to 5pm and I’m already thinking when I can go to bed to get the day over.Tomorrow I’ll do a small Tesco shop,but I don’t want to be around crowds of people,I’m afraid someone will see me ,I hate the stare,the pity……So I’ll be going early by about 8am,BUT then I’m back at home it’s not even 9am,and I’m thinking of going when can I go to bed to get the day over!!!..……loneliness is awful,it really is a killer,and at the moment I’m suffering,struggling with it so much
I’m the same about the food shopping. I do click and collect because I can’t stand the thought of bumping into someone I know. They either pretend they haven’t seen me or have that pitying look in their eyes. I can’t stand it.
Exactly!!!..……But the days seem so long……I really think I’m going to need some sort of help,being on your own is awful…….I was with my wife 28 years……haven’t been on my own since I was 24,and then wasn’t really alone,as living with parents……. I’ve been on my own today since 4pm,it’s now 6pm……only 2 hours gone and I already feel terrible,I feel empty,feel so alone and scared
Hi Donant,
I really feel for you.
My hope that I have to believe is that time will heal some of the heartache. There are posts here where people have said that after a while they have found some kind of solace. Life as I know it has ended but the possibilty of some future keeps me going as that is what my wife would want, I imagine yours would want the same and I truly hope you find a world which becomes bearable.
Joe x
Thanks,and I know you right……….it’s just so bloody hard right now………Yes my wife would want me to carry on living,and looking after myself.My wife was amazing and I miss her so much
I know how you feel it’s like nothing you can explain, and all you can say when people as is am fine because what can you say ‘am so sad lonely’ no one could possibly understand sending hugs
I think you can tell people how you feel when they ask and shouldn’t be afraid to. Yes it may make them feel uncomfortable but it is the truth
One thing I found is when people ask me how I am is to explain it’s not just sadness, sad comes in so many ‘flavours’. Sometimes J can only describe it as feeling glum, other times it is empty etc. And when people know this K think it helps them understand a little better and I let them know it’s not their job to cheer me up, that can’t be done, but just keep me company as I sit with my sadness
Beki x
I just feel like a winge bag and I don’t want people to get fed up with me, just feeling very low sad lonely 
it’s been 15 months and am feeling worse than ever
Hello,I think it’s quite normal to feel the way you do,I feel like that,granted my wife past away only14 days ago…….I miss her,she was my everything…….I’m 52 but feel 72, ……so you lost your husband early as well
Yes he was just 61, 13years older than me but never acted his age, we never had children but he has a daughter that is everything to me my best friend as she is on 8 years younger and she has children but am still so lonely
Am sorry you lost your wife life is cruel
Hi Donant,
I have just seen your post. I was going to post something similar! I totally understand about being in your own. It’s 12 weeks since my husband of 36 years died. I have been so scared to be on my own because of facing the loss and the loneliness. I have had people stay with me or I’ve been to stay with them and I’m still scared. I do have some times when I think I could do it but then I feel so lost snd wretched at other times. I have started some counselling. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better, I wish I could. In some ways I do have more better or numb hours than at the beginning but I still don’t want to be on my own. Do you have friends or family that can at least visit? Or is there a bereavement group near you? Please take care.
Sue x
Don’t be afraid to say it how it is .
If someone asks how I am , I reply “sh** it a good description but I’m plodding on.”
If they take offence then tough , it is what it is.
It’s always the people still having their partners around that say what they think you want to hear as they don’t have a clue.
And so they walk on , still not offering any help 
.
Some days I have to have both TV & radio on at the same time - then days of silence - recently I found myself singing along to one of his favourites - immediately felt guilty but then just decided to give it both barrels!
A small step but it felt good. That might sound strange. ?
But your brain fog will slowly fade, and you adjust into a new routine, it does take a while with many many ups & downs.
One day at a time
G. X