I lost my dad approx 20 months ago, however I cant seem to accept he’s no longer here. I carry on with life as normal, go to work and everything is normal. However when I see pictures of my dad I don’t look or if family speak about him I try and ignore it. I want to try and accept it but I find it too painful. He was such a great man who taught me everything I am today.
Anything he needed I was there for him. I know we will all die one day, I just dont know how I can let go of what’s happened. I was with him until the end, however since that day my body feels numb, mentally I am getting on with things but physically my body is aching. I have started to get back aches which has never happened. I feel my body is carrying grief I just dont know how to release it… Does anyone feel the same or know what steps I can do to start to accept things… x
I lost my dad on 1st September, 2016. I know exactly how you feel as I feel that I am aching inside and want to just lie down on my dad’s grave and not get up again.
I went to the GP and she said something that struck me: you won’t get over it, but somehow you have to find a way to live through it. I guess it’s a day by day, week by week situation that I hope will lessen the waves of grief.
What I have noticed too, is the swirl of memories that occur from everyday happenings. It seems at the moment that almost everything I do reminds me of my dad, and vivid childhood memories jump into my mind from nowhere, things and times I have not thought of for years.
I hope this helps, as I know it is difficult to talk to people who have not been through this and get them to understand the sorrow that you feel in your very bones.
Hi…
Reading your conversations so hits a chord, I lost my Dad last August 31st and still cannot believe that he isn’t coming back to me, he was simply the best and my hero…
When we have a relationship as dear as that ’ it hits hard’…
Everything you are both saying I relate too, grief consumes your whole being and your whole body aches…
I do believe it helps to talk and through this page you can release some of your feelings…as I think a lot of close friends (and I am not sure if you have found the same) but feel I should be moving on and unless you have been through it and had the same close relationship you know that is just not possible…
I was lucky to have six weeks of counselling, no miracle cure but it makes you realise that everything we are feeling is normal (maybe you could try that)…and as Paulo says ‘we will never get over the loss of someone so dear to us’ we just have to find a way to live with what’s happened, easier said than done…but maybe with tiny steps?, I talk about Dad constantly, look at pictures and cry everyday because I so want and need him back…
Keep talking and thinking of you both…
Take care
Claire x
So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 14 years ago this December and I still miss him but I find talking to my daughter and other family members about him has helped me cope with losing him and him not being here for me to talk to. I found talking about him means he is still around looking after me as he always did plus I have found out more about him as some family members such as uncles and aunts who knew him before I was born such as what he got up to as a young boy. It’s made me love him more as I’ve found out that he was as loveably and as mischievous as I grew up kowning he was.
Remember him as he was to you but try and find out a little more about him. He’s still in your heart and always will be.
Take care of you at this difficult time.
Jackie JT x
Gosh that was so beautiful, when you say you want to lie on your fathers grave and not get up I really know what you mean. Thank you so much for replying, I thought it was just me who felt like this. I wish I was able to look at pictures of my dad, its just too painful yet. I also notice I have a lot of anger towards siblings who upset my dad…lots of emotion inside of me…
Thinking of everyone I lost my dad on 31 March having s bad week this week, I think you learn to grow around the grief some how but we’re bound to have times where we feel low or a curve ball trigger comes along , I try and think I was used to having him in my life for 34 years so now I have to learn how to live without him - bound to take time and things trigger me sometimes I don’t expect. Be kind to yourselves beginning to learn that’s the most important thing, I went through a phase of not being able to look at my dad’s picture or his things in time I can but I build myself up to it and it isn’t easy I’m sure in time your grief will take a different form. Take care everyone wishing you a peaceful day x
Hi Anisa…
I can understand that, it’s the feeling that if you open the box up you will never stop the ‘emotions’ …
Be kind to yourself and don’t pressure yourself, there is no time limit to grief - tiny steps…
We had our wonderful Dads in our life’s for so long it is going to be a long road…
I hope you soon feel you can ‘open’ up to someone…
It’s good to cry and hopefully the beautiful memories of our Dads will override the sadness…
Take care
Cx