Don't know how to feel

Dad died in August, suddenly just before his 80th Birthday. He had stage 4 cancer diagnosed 5 days before he died. We were told nothing of his illness until it was too late. My mum is broken and is struggling hugely. I can’t seem to get my head around anything currently as there is too much to do, think, cope with… My brother is the same. We all live so far apart and I don’t know what’s next. Not sure if I’m grieving even, or if I’m done with it. All I do know is that I’m up and down, not great company and I have a very short temper. Most things aren’t as important as they once seemed.


Dear Timpsk, I am sorry for your loss, it would be very awful to you all, your mother and your brother. I feel with you, my dad also died suddenly, we didn’t know his cancer while he was alive. You are really right: now it is too much to do, think, cope with, and nobody knows how can do this, I think. Other people say that just live the current moment. Just like you, I feel a lot of emotions, but they are changing day to day, hour to hour, and the behavior as well, get upset easily, noone like to talk, but sadness is constant. I think talking and writing is good for us. Take care of you.

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I totally understand how you feel I’m not sure if I’m grieving or burnt out with it all . My dad had prostrate and kidney cancer with a tumour in his neck . He had 11 falls and 28 blood transfusions this year . The amount of people that kept saying he’s palliative not end of life he died on 1st October and was cremated last Friday I feel numb , I had to plan all the funeral my sister wasn’t interested in not sure what’s next my family seems angry all the time I guess this is stage 2 of grieving