Funny that i just said 2 my friend sometimes i feel like im on a desert island. But after u lose yr loved 1.
I think our lifes just become an existence.
& im 5 years down the line since my husband died.
U never get over the loss, u just learn 2 live with it.
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oh gosh, 6 weeks down the line for me and it seems to be getting worse,so lonely and sad
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I really feel for any 1 going through this loss.
@Jon731 i am so sorry for your loss. It is horrendous isn’t it? It is very raw for you at the moment. I feel for everyone of us on here. I started this thread a couple of days ago because even though it will be coming up to twelve months for me shortly, I really don’t know how I have gotten here. As I said in my post, I am now totally lost whereas before I felt comfortable in my own skin. Love to all.X
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Hi
Reading through the posts I think yes that’s me
Although I sorted the financial side MOT s insurances etc it’s not having Paul there so bounce off and reassure me
I’m not and never will be the same
Yes I get dressed
Yes I sometimes ‘seem’ ok but my heart ( and everyone on here ) is broken utterly devastated
I just function
Yes 120 at Paul’s funeral but I’m being supported by 4/5
4/5 friends that are desperately trying to understand
All but one ( she’s divorced) has husbands
They have no idea and to be fair they admit that
A whole year infront
No Paul no plans no soulmate just me
I’m different my DNA died with Paul 24/7/22
And it’s bloody hard
Have Paul’s Rab coat in bed with me never a night goes by I cry and cry and cry I to it
Life is so unfair
Move on ? I don’t want to don’t know how to
I just want my Paul back
It’s sheer torture
Everything I ‘do’ is absolutely sheer hell
Hugs to all
Take care
Xx
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Morning x
I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Please don’t think that you are alone.
I feel the same & I’m sure there are so many feeling it too.
We lost our loving Dad in August & I still feel like I wonder around not knowing what I’m doing.
I feel people are keeping their distance, even close friends.
I feel uncomfortable when people are laughing even myself if I’m laughing I feel so guilty afterwards.
I keep being told itl go better in time but at this moment I can’t ever see it doing.
I look at other daughters with there dad’s & feel so hurt & angry it’s not my dad & me.
All I can say is since coming on here it has helped me so much.
If you need to talk, get things of your chest, need support or just read other people’s words being on here really helps to ease how your feeling at that moment.
We are here for you 
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Hi Kerry 1.1
Thank you for your post
Yes I suppose it does help on ‘here’ as we are all experiencing the same trauma
But in our own life’s it’s just us alone
I know what you mean about dads and daughters
I hate to see couples, hand in hand couples, older couples than Paul and I were, couples in cars, couples in Motorhome’s …… Paul and I had one
Couples have always been there but I’ve never noticed them or had any reason to notice them
Now it’s just me, no one to bounce ideas off , watch TV with ( albeit in silence sometimes!) no one to comment during or after TV programme, no one to eat with, no one on car journeys…… the list is just endless
Folks say you have memories
I don’t want memories I want to make them with my Paul
Paul knew me inside out…… backside first ….… no one loves me like my Paul did and I’ve just got to say ……. Life’s just shit(sorry!)
Hugs to everyone suffering cos that’s what we are doing
Nursing totally utterly broken hearts……
Xx
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I know my mum is experiencing exactly the same.
We also lost our uncle & his wife (my aunty) was saying the same thing as yourself yesterday .
I’m so sorry your going through this.
Until you experience bereavement especially to someone so close to you you just can’t explain the horrendous agony & emptiness .
I’m always here if you need to chat
Much love to you 
Hi
Suppose we all ‘think’ the same which is good it proves we aren’t losing the plot
But……
Xx
I feel like this when I get into my car to come home
From the office. My dog is there but no one to discuss the day with. It’s heartbreaking.
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heartbreaking.I LOST MY PARTNER 6 WEEKS AGO AD WHEN I WALK IN THERE IS MY CAT BUT NO PARTNER,FOR ME THIS IS GETTING WORSE,SO LONELY AND SCARED FOR THE FUTURE
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Yes 8 weeks for me, thought I wasn’t as bad yesterday only cried once, there was more bitterness in my head I think but today the sun is shining & most would say a beautiful day but for me it’s hit me like a brick yet again, how can any of us get over not ever seeing our beloved ones again!!
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I’m the same. It’s 9 weeks for me. I thought I was doing ok then last night I went to pieces and felt the despair again. When will it ease?
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Hi All
You are so right
We will never ever ever have a conversation, a smile, a comment ,a hug a …… the list is endless
I have what I suspect we ‘all’ have a broken heart
I’ve never ever ever experienced pain like it
I to feel alone , scared and ….
And yes a lovely sunny day Paul loved them
Paul’s favourite time of year was spring when he saw daffodils he knew the winter was over
I have daffs poking through in the garden
Paul will never see them ever….
Hugs to everyone
Xx
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We too loved the spring. We could get cracking on the garden ready for the Easter Egg hunt we always do for the family (3 children, their partners and 10 grandchildren) and the other family get togethers. I’m really dreading the spring. I just don’t think I’ll enjoy any time of the year ever again. It’s devastating x.
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My previous life when my husband was alive when I had purpose, motivation, happiness, excitement, joy etc the list goes on our days had a beginning and an end. We
had plans. Now my days are just on one endless loop. There is no beginning and no ending. I don’t exist anymore and don’t think I ever will. It will be twelve months shortly since my husband died and I feel exactly the same as the day he died.X
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I have thrown myself entirely into my new house I hate my old house as this is where all my awful memories are now and just wish it would sell. I get up everyday and go for a walk have to admit evenings are the worst don`t know why as do just what we always did maybe because there is only me. Have to say for the first time in 6 months I actually slept from 10.30 to 4.30!
Yes reality hits home
This is our life (s) now or not in our cases
I would say I function
Up
Awake
Bed …… note ( not much sleep)
Nothing I do means anything…… I just function
Badly!
Xx
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I’m sitting watching ‘Death in Paradise’ with a cup of coffee and shortbread biscuits. I’m so sorry you don’t see your family very much. We’re all in this together. Keep posting and reading. Big cuddle from me xx.
Hi Lonely
My favourite drink too
Make it at home but if out treat myself to Costa!
Paul thought if I had a Costa somehow I’d feel better……
I’ve just sat and cried buckets
A Friday night the weekend ahead and no plans nothing
No Paul
We don’t have family Paul has a twin and his wife has been a godsend for/to me
My family live over the road ( farmers) but I’m a farmers daughter enough said……
What a life
What a state I (we) are in
Big hugs on a Friday wind blowing night
Xx
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