Hi. My name is Melanie and I am 39. A year and a half ago I lost my fiancee to suicide. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. I have spent the last year and a half trying to come to terms with my loss and some days are better than others.
I have been trying to get a little of my social life back lately but I am finding that I have no confidence. When I am surrounded by friends I have no problem involing myself in conversation but when I am around new people I do not seem to be able to carry a conversation…
What do I say, people ask about me and my life and I don’t know what to say, I worry if I am honest people will feel sorry for me and then not know what to say to me. I get dry mouth and generally can tjink of nothing to say because the only thoughts in my head are Paul.
Does anyone else have experience of what it is like getting back out into the world and any tips. I feel if I don’t try I am sentencing myself and my daughter to a life of solitude and I don’t want that for her or me.
I still think about Paul 80% of the day although I only cry now maybe once a month which is a big step for me, I am still so deeply in love with him but I want to continue moving forward for my sake and my daughters but I don’t know how?