Dose it get any better

I’ve only been on general chat once before but found the friendly response so nice it’s 6 o’clock in the morning such a bad time for me since my husband passed away in April and it would have been his 72 birthday nest Sunday first time we want share that time in 54 years at this moment very frightened the weekends are the worse very quite and long being hear and not having anyone to talk to it all builds up inside I’m going to try and find something to do but said that on Friday and yesterday didn’t work though silly though it seems it makes a differenc being about to write it down just to know that there is other people that understand is so helpful sorry my chat is a bit of a ramble but once I start it just seems to keep coming

Marian x

Dear Marian I struggle too with the weekends especially a Sunday since I lost my lovely Ed 10 weeks ago. Family and friends all seem to be busy at weekends which is natural as so did Ed and myself at weekends. Like you I write my thoughts on here and it helps a lot to say what I struggle to say to family. Only the people on here really understand as we are on the same sad journey. I hope you get through today Marian without too many tears. Take care.
Liz x

Thank you Liz I will be thinking of you and sending love and today will pass and we will carry on but just knowing that we are not alone at this dreadful time is so comforting I have all ready shed tears and will probably do so again before today is out my thoughts and love are with you
Marian x

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Hey Marian. I have to say, I found it the exact same on here. So many people are genuienly are sorry and upset. But its so different when its u. The people here have been through it, and that means they know. Tjat sounds harsh, but its so different when u know someone actually feels and knows the pain and loss that ur feeling.xx

Hello Liz
I lost my husband just over 10 weeks ago
4th June
I still struggle to believe it is real
I hope to wake up and it all of been a terrible dream
My husband was only 48 and died suddenly and completely unexpected
I have just joined this group hoping to find help from people who are also going through loss
Caroline x

Dear Caroline
I often wish it was a terrible dream and that I will wake up and see Ed lying next to me smiling. I dreamt of him a week after he died and I said to him I knew he had not gone and actually felt the great sense of love and relief seeing him but it only lasted seconds. No one can understand this immense sadness unless they have suffered what we have so talking on here really does help me. Hope you can find the same.
Lots of love and hugs
Liz x

Hi to anyone still awake

I have read about people dreaming of their loved one still being there if only momentarily. I keep having one vision of my partner he shed a single solitary tear as he took his last breath and I can’t get it out of my head. Every time I want to see his face I can’t . It’s as if it’s being blocked for some reason and it’s destroying. I just want to picture his face and the only way I can is to look at a picture of him. He passed away 13 weeks ago from lung cancer. I am sorry to ramble on but need to talk.

Wishing everyone here hugs.

D

It’s Sunday morning and the weekends do not get any better it’s been 4 months since my husband died of lung cancer on a Sunday at home how do we go on I don’t know i wish I had the answer the only thing I know is that familj friends and this forum knowing we are not alone are what we need to be able to share are feelings and fears and talk about the love we have lost we were married for 52 years teenagers when we meet a life time together and now I don’t know why I’m still here but I am. sending you all my love and support that’s all we can do we have to hold each other up so we can get through another day love is the cement that keeps us together the love we have all experienced thinking of you all
M xx

When I read the above posts it brings me to tears. Because so much caring and love comes through. What a pity it is that we need adversity to bring us so close, yet when life is normal it’s very difficult to empathise.
This common bond of grief is not something we wanted or looked for, but if we can see it as a teaching experience perhaps it may help. I have certainly become more tolerant and understanding through grief.
“The dark cloud that breaks with blessings on your head”. A 14th. century monk wrote that. If I didn’t think there was some purpose in it all I too would feel despondent. But I know that in life any experience has a meaning if we can see it.
For some these words may just be sentimental nonsense. But it’s how I see it and feel.
Bless you all, and thank you for making my day. Hugs.

Dear Denzil, I can relate to your post so well. I’ve mentioned before on this forum that for a while after my husband passed I thought wherever he was that he was sad. I couldn’t shift this thought and on top of everything it was killing me. I couldn’t bear that he was sad. I spoke to the vicar about it which maybe helped a little. But in time this thought gradually diminished.

With regards not being able to see his face, it is only now after 2 years that I can see my husband’s face. Up until very recently I could see every other part of him but travel up to his face and nothing. I could even see his hair but around a complete blank; no eyes, no nose, no mouth, nothing. Even now I have to really concentrate. Like you, I kept looking at photographs. I surrounded myself with photos of him. They gave me comfort. But then I found if I tried to visualise his face it was always a face I’d seen in a photo, usually of him when he was younger so I’m not sure if the photos hindered my progress. I was never really too worried about it as the same thing had happened when I lost my mum. I knew I would get my darling’s face back one day. I’m sure you will too. Much love to you xx

Dear Kate

Thank you I can only assume not seeing someone’s face is a protective thing in our heads due to trauma of loss. It was the same 22 years ago when my son died.

I hope that I will see his face soon as i desperately want to.

Much love to you too

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