Double bereavement

My partner’s dad died at the start of the year, then my mum died suddenly just a few weeks later. Both of our remaining parents are quite unwell now too, my dad seriously so.

When this all happened, a friend said that at least we’d be able to help each other, as we understood how the other was feeling. I’m not sure that’s been the case. If anything, I fear it’s pushed us further apart. We’re grieving in different ways, I am more vocal in how I’m feeling but he keeps it inside more.

I’m finding it really hard. I feel like I’m always talking about my mum, but don’t want to ignore how he’s feeling about his dad. I loved his dad very much too. But sometimes I feel my words and thoughts about mum spiralling, and it’s like I forget fir a moment that he’s going through it too.

Just wondered if anyone else had been in this position, and if you could offer any advice please?

Hi there! I am so sorry you both are going through this. I lost my mom in June 2021, and my Dad June 2022. My husband has been a huge support for me, it isn’t the same as yours because both his parents are still here, but I know what you mean…it helps me to talk about them, even if I repeat the same things. He just listens and that’s what I need. Just remember to listen when he does want to talk about it. I have learned along the way grief is so individualistic. No two people grieves the same. So remember to be kind to each other, and to yourself. Also remember to spend quality time with your remaining parents too. Grieving is an extremely hard journey we all have to take, you are definitely not alone. Take care!