Double Heartbreak

It’s coming up to a year soon since my husband died of cancer just after our 50th wedding anniversary. I am devastated and totally unable to cope with anything. My son of 41 has been living with us for about 6 years now to suit himself really and at first was comforting and understanding but this has changed in the last 6 months. He has now announced he is leaving to be 100 miles away. I am 72 and don’t know how I will manage without any company at all or with little things around the house and garden that I can’t do myself. It was awful to lose my husband but this is like a double blow and I feel so abandoned and hurt by this. We have a daughter but she lives 150 miles away and visits only rarely and briefly. I find my self crying constantly and can’t stop but I have no other family and am really afraid of being alone all the time. I know others are also grief stricken and really need friends who understand especially if there is anyone in the north of Scotland. Love and hope to everyone xx

Dear Maryjane
So sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult and sad situation. I am slightly younger than you and have just “celebrated” my third anniversary of living alone…I have never lived on my own before and would never have thought it possible to do so but 158 weeks after losing my partner I am still plodding along. It is hard and I do miss having anyone to talk to…all my children live a long way away and have busy lives so I very seldom see them…as I live in a very rural area and do not have access to transport but I get my weekly shop delivered and just get on with what I can do and try not to worry about what I can not. I am so lucky to have my little dogs and perhaps you too have a pet or might consider getting one…animals love unconditionally and are an inordinate comfort! Please don’t take your son’s decision too personally…grief is hard enough to cope with without adding anger or bitterness to our load… .just believe that you are strong enough to cope and you may well surprise yourself by how well you actually do…please take care and let us know how things progress. God bless x

Thank you Amelie’s gran. I do have a pet, a little ginger cat called Toffy. She is 11yrs old,very affectionate, and has slept in my bed the last two nights - not very hygienic but a comfort. My husband used to call her “My wee pal” and she is now my best friend.

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