It’s been a year of emotional rollercoaster for sure.
In October last year, my nan passed away. My mum, myself, sister and uncle were at her bedside. We watched her pass away in front of us.
27 days later my dad died suddenly on the street from a cardiac event. The ambulance, air ambulance and police were amazing but it’s been hard.
I’ve had to step up and take care of my mum. (Live at home due to past break up)
I made phone calls, informed the right companies for both my nan and dad.
My nan left a bungalow which we had to clear out and now is sale agreed but probate and paperwork is just neverending it feels.
My dad left so many jobs at home that he promised to sort that I’m trying my best to sort them all out while working.
It’s coming up to the 1 year anniversary and I’m struggling.
I’ve not really stopped since my nan passed away and I returned to work (phrased to start) after a month off with dad passing.
I need to be at work as can’t stay home all day but I don’t want to be at work!
I work in education which is tough anyway but especially hard given I was at work went I saw the police at mums door to tell her about dad.
Any advice would be great. Books to read, websites. Advice I can give work to help me.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your nan and dad - that’s a lot to cope with, as well as all the practical stuff and taking care of your mum. It’s understandable that you’re struggling and you’re not alone with this.
You’ve asked for some websites and books to read, so I wanted to share some Sue Ryder resources that might help right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
I’m so sorry you are struggling.
I’m no expert but it sounds to me as though you haven’t had time to process all that’s happened or been able to grieve.
You are trying to do everything for your mum but you must try and take time for yourself too and try and enjoy your life as best you can.
My dad passed back in 2015 suddenly and I sort of took over the role of being there for mum as she was completely lost after 65 years with dad but it was hard work.
We did have a few arguments in the next four years before she died because I just could take the part of her husband, my dad. I couldn’t fill that void.
After mum died my long term partner within days had sepsis and ended up in a home for 3 n half years so I constantly visited him every other day until he passed.
I met a wonderful man afterwards who I can honestly say was my soulmate but unfortunately he died suddenly in March after just two n half years seeing each other and that’s when it hit.
It’s been tough and I’m trying to compartmentalise each death to grieve for each one of them…
There’s no easy answer but I think you need time for you…