Down in the dumps 😞

After the high of last week when I was busy and saw friends and family, this week has been totally different. I feel lonely, sad and missing Doug.
It’s been a struggle to get up and when I did, didn’t get dressed until nearly lunch time. No one has phoned. Feeling really sorry for myself.
Then today I said to myself enough is enough. I still got up a bit late. But I showered dressed, did the housework, washing stripped the bed.
Then out of the blue a friend’s husband knocked on the door and gave me a plant and card from my friend, and said please come and visit us soon.
That motivated me to go out after lunch, now I’m sitting in M&S at The Lakes having a cup of tea and a cake. I’ve wondered round the shops, bit of retail therapy, bought a dress and more books to read.
I can hear Doug saying not more books, you already have enough to fill a library.
I have even chatted to total strangers. I was going to walk around the lake but it’s raining now, which is a shame because my washing is still out on the line at home.🤷
Going to catch the bus :bus: home soon, I love travelling on buses, Doug was a bus/coach driver and it makes me feel closer to him.
I know when I return home, the emptiness of the house will hit, but I will try to keep positive.
My Granddaughter has just text, she is popping in to see me on Friday :smiley:
At least next week I will be back at work after school holidays and have some structure in my day.
Sorry for rambling on, but someday your the only people I have to talk too.
Debbie X :purple_heart:


Well done Debbie :+1:t3: I know it’s not easy but you made the effort and wasn’t it worth it :blush: it would be so easy just to lay down to things and wallow in self pity but unfortunately we can’t alter what has happened to us so we need to accept what we can’t change and try to be positive because no one else can live our lives for us. Just having something to look forward to like your granddaughter coming on Friday makes such a difference :smiley: this living on our own takes a bit of getting used to, it’s been two and a half years for me but it gets easier and I quite like the strong, independent woman I have become although I will always love and miss my Husband I have adjusted and accepted this new life which I had no say in and you will do the same eventually as hard as that is to believe at the moment.


Dear @Debbie57

Ramble away. That is what we are for. Lovely post and thank your for commenting. Small acts of kindness make a big difference in our lives.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your week. Take care.



Thank you MrsColt, for your encouraging words. It been 13 months for me now since losing Doug. Most of the time I’m like you I am very independent and like to do for myself if I can, but just every now and again the blues hit.
I am home now, enjoyed my bus journey, and pleased to find my washing didn’t get soaked through.
Love Debbie X

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I am impressed Debbie. You are making the supreme and hard effort to pick up the pieces of a life. Its not the life any of us have asked for but it is a life.
I couldn’t agree more with everything that Mrs Colt has written. We have to be responsible for our own way forward as no one can do it for us.
I am three years along and slowly I am accepting my life but I will never forget my man.
Your not rambling and I hope your brave approach will encourage other members.


Thank you, more positive things happened when I got home, my husband’s brother phoned to see how I was and we chatted for ages.
What a difference a day had made :purple_heart:


Oh Debbie, that’s so good to read. Good for you going out like you did. We definitely feel better when we interact with others don’t we?!
Sometimes we have to have days when we don’t do much, grief certainly can be exhausting!
Doug would have been so proud to know you’d had a bit of a shop (and bought more books, haha). Awww, it’s lovely that you feel closer to Doug when you’re on a bus or coach.
It it as good feeling when friends call, or you’re invited somewhere too isn’t it?!
You definitely weren’t rambling, it was such a positive post.
Take care, Janey xx


Thank you, not sure he would approve of one of the novels “a second hand husband” but he would like the other one “a perfect couple” :smiley:

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