Drowning in grief

on the 29th of dec my father tested postive with covid 19, were do I start…covid went through my family even though we hadn’t see each other…my 4year old was the first to test postivie and It went from there.

I knew I had become very ill very quickly I was on antibiotics for 9 days and had a 5 day course of steriods for my breathing, in-between all this my mother had pasted out in the kitchen and had been led for hours in her own vomit, when she woke from being on the kitchen floor she called my dad for help she was so ill she crawled in the living room. In the morning myself and my sister went to my mothers as soon as we knew what had happened my mum wasn’t great when we checked on our dad he was freezing cold, disorientated and had wet himself, we got him changed warmed him up in the living room with blankets and made sure he had his medication, fed him soup and his temp went up and he was talking, then I noticed he dipped again he couldn’t stand and he went grey and his eyes rolled back, we were scared we called for an ambulance and made sure dad was still with us.

Dad was doing OK then his condition changed I spoke on the phone to him on the 2nd of Jan at 10am I told him that I loved him and he said the same back, later that day he was put on a ventilator and put into an induced coma he died on the the 5th of Jan, we had to wait in the car at the hospital while they turned the machines off,my mother was in with my dad in full ppe wearing a helmet and oxygen on her back, I have never experienced pain like this in my life watching my dad die on my brothers phone not being able to hold his hand or touch his face, the WiFi crashing and losing connection.

My breathing became worse and with a temp at night of over 39 .4 I knew I was ill, I went to the doctors at 12pm I couldn’t breath and my chest was rattling, my oxygen was at 82 the doctors told me they were calling an ambulance I had covid Pneumonia and my lungs were filled with fluid, I went into hospital very ill with doctors telling my family I had age on my side never that I was going to pull through, I spent 9 days on antibiotics, drips, injections, oxygen, dealing with my fathers death on my own thinking I was going to die. I’m home now getting better slowly and we have had dads funeral but I’m not coping with the way we lost dad, I wish I could see him one more time but I can’t , I miss him so much, I feel like I’m drowning in grief and I can’t pull myself back up

I’m so sorry for the loss of your father.
Covid 19 has robbed so many of us from our loved ones prematurely

It hard and it’s painful I know what your going through, I lost my dad to Covid too.

Nothing prepares you for this kind of grief. Losing someone through Covid is painful in all aspects.

I’m glad I’ve found this forum, and to be able to read other people’s experience of losing loved ones through Covid. It’s helped me know that I’m not alone. You are not alone too.

I hope with time your pain eases.

Again my sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Hello @Mumma77. You have been through a really horrible time and we all know the pain you are feeling. It is very easy to let all these feeling overwhelm you as there are so many thoughts in your head and so much to do at this time.
Please take time to slow down and nurture yourself. Easier said than done I know and remember that there is always someone that will help you and on this site there is always someone to listen to you.
Love and light.x

Thankyou so much for your kind words, and im so sorry for your loss

You totally understand what I’m going through, and being able to talk to people who understand means so much to me, when I feel so lost x

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Thankyou for your kinds words x

hi i just read your post and its made me cry as my situation seems very similar to yours. Its bern over a month since Iost my mum and im falling to pieces i just cant cope.Plesse txt me if you want to talk x

Oh bless you, you can message me anytime for a chat im always here, everyone on here understands grief and the things it can do to us